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Medford City Councilor Paul Camuso not running for mayor
Nell Coakley, a day late and 50 cents short
Updated at 3:06 PM
The following is a press release that should have been issued by
soon-to-be-ex-Medford City Councilor Paul Camuso.
Over the last week, I have been so humbled by the encouragement and support that I have received to run for mayor in the city that I proudly call my hometown that, in my delusional mind, I actually thought it would happen, that I could actually become the Mayor of Medfraud!Then that damn blogger with his Step 8 Press release and the shellacking he gave me and my man Freddy and my boy Adam and even Rick C AND HE ACTUALLY LIKES RICK!...at the council last night. I just had to pack it in. Enough is enough, the charade is over, I can't buffalo everyone.
P.T. Barnum was right!
There's a sucker born every minute and me, Paul Camuso, I am that sucker!
I owe each and every person a sincere thank you for putting up with my shit over the years. The Chinese Restaurants, the Pizza Parlors, the Chinese Pizza Pads....to those of you who have reached out to me in one form or another with hate mail, heck, it's nice to be appreciated, even if you do loathe me.
Your words have meant so much to Aunty Carol who had to have me put in a straight jacket, some of the correspondence had me in such a rage.. I have given this decision serious thought while looking back at the last 16 years I have been in public service and realize Stephanie "Manchurian Candidate" Burke will kick the shit out of me on the campaign trail so, being the coward I am, I'll throw the towel in right now.
Remember, last night at the council a very credible person called me a
"Mitt Romney Flip Flopper"
One week I'm for Pay-to-Park, then I'm against it.
One day I'm resigning from the Council, then I'm running for Mayor
Now I've Flop Flipped again and reneging on my promise to my 3 supporters, Mike, Adam and Fred, and not running for Mayor.
I announced in December that I would not be seeking re-election because at the age of 37, I have been accused of elder bashing people almost twice my age...the editor of the blog who is 24 years older than me, as is Rick Caraviello, the senior member of the Council who is 34 years older than me, and Rep Donato who is actually twice my age, that old Methuselah!
actual picture of Paul Donato as Methuselah
I also have a young family that is tired of me using them as props for elections the way McGlynn drags his oldest grandkid around like a rag doll, and I have personal and professional goals I would like to achieve, like finally, at 37, graduating eight grade. Did I spell that right? Eight Eight, rhymes with hate.
I am committed and devoted to my role at the Middlesex Sheriff’s Office as Peter Koutoujian didn't throw me out on my ass like he promised, and the special projects that I am currently working on like stuffing my face instead of the candy machine at Billerica State Prison. Look, those convicts don't need the sugar, not with the medical care we fail to provide.
For these reasons, I have made my decision to not run for mayor at this time.
Medford is the cornerstone of my life, and I will continue to look for ways I can improve the quality of life for its residents as I move forward in my journey instead of resigning like an honorable man would.
In the coming months, I will aggressively campaign for the candidate that I feel will bring much-needed change to the city of Medford. Pocket change, the kind that will jingle in my pocket. My hand is outstretched and awaiting a nice chunk of that jingling jangling change...none of this In-Kind Contribution nonsense anymore. Not for me. Hand over the cold, hard cash!!!
I continue to look forward to working as your city councilor even though it isn't the popular thing to do. Thanks to the bloated paycheck I voted myself I do NOT intend to leave, not until I drain every nickel from the taxpayers that I have victimized year after year after year.
this, of course, is a parody