British actor Thomas Stanley Holland - born June 1, 1996, was probably 22 playing a sixteen year old in Spiderman: Far From Home, but that won't stop everyone in Medford from having to have a CORI check if the film is shown in what is known in the Commonwealth as "the fractured city," because Mark Rumley has a dirty mind and there's a possibility that Holland's firm backside will be too provocative for Rumley to handle. Sixteen is legal in Massachusetts unless you were on a board of directors with Mark Rumley and illegally give the 16 year old three beers on an overnight stay at Rumley's house.
(C)Copyright 2019 JV, all tights and rights reserved, Jake Gyllenhaal.
Prelude (was the name of a dyke bar in Boston in the 80s...)
Happy birthday Tom Holland, June 1, 1996, as your new movie is going to make you millions. Holland, according to IMDB still lives at home with his parents...now we love our parents (except if your name is Dr. Rabies,) but if you're a 22 year old millionaire playing the part of a disciple of playboy Tony Stark, you really think living at home with brother and sister is what a Tony Stark disciple would be doing? Do you? Look, if I'm 22 looking that good I'd be in bed with Jake Gyllenhaal all day long and never coming up for air, but that's me...Leave Zendaya Far From Home. Zendaya was born September 1, 1996, three months after Tom Holland to the day. Another 22 year old playing an annoying sixteen year old in the film, and the kid's stuff IS the most annoying thing about this movie
C'mon, the above photo has so much adult homo chemistry it makes one wonder what the practicing sessions were like prior to filming...45 year old actor Numan Acar as Dimitri looks like Mark Rumley as voyeur in the background...Jacob Gyllenhaal was born Dec. 19, 1980, by the way, for those keeping score of birthdays. He was set to play Spiderman 2 until Tobey Maguire recovered, so now he gets to be Mysterioso Mysterio. Zendaya! what a name.
____________________________________________________________________________
and now to the review...
Don't you wonder if they had to pay Robert Downey Jr. for his image in the poster, this interesting semi-sequel to Avengers Endgame (released April 26, 2019,) released July 2, 2019. That's about two months and a week - pretty quick turnaround to pick up the story to one of the biggest moneymaking films of all time.*
Perhaps the smartest move - and its as obvious as it is contractually prudent - is the presence of Marvel Studios president Kevin Feige. Feige's not only got the magic touch, his resume' indicates that he has traversed the waters of 20th Century and Disney in regards to Marvel product over the years, and the inevitable work with Sony should have happened a lot sooner. At least the Spidey suit looks more like the original comic book character than in previous outings with Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield, both excellent Spidermen as well.
I would put all three spider characters in the next film, but that's only my genius and logic in its normal digression pattern again.
So this Endgame sequel cost less than half of the Avengers flick, 356 m for Avengers, 160 for Spidey Far From Home, about 100 million dollars less!
_________________________________________
OK, the real review:
8:34 am
Back in the 1960s when television got the brilliant idea of playing horror flicks from the 30's and sci-fi from the 50's we, as children, would wonder why it was so boring, why the set-up to when the monsters arrived took so long.
Disney/Marvel has eliminated that with slam/bang/crash/boom/bam opening just about every film...except for Marvel/Sony's Spiderman: Far From Home. How boring is the first third of this film? So bad that I almost left the critic's screening on Tuesday night.
Seriously. I was this close to walking out.
Watching twenty-two year old actors badly playing annoying sixteen year old classmates is worse than watching paint dry. Because drying paint at least has some action! And this is why Marvel president Kevin Feige is a genius and I am a mere purist critic: the younger crowd in the audience seemed to actually liked it.
Now with no place to go but up, how is the rest of the movie? The rest of the film is one of the best Marvel comics translations of the idea in the original books to film. Of the seven Spiderman films, the action and plot to Spiderman: Far From Home is the best Spiderman yet, and one of the best Marvel comic films we've yet to see. If the future holds a complete film with this kind of action and invention, we are in for some fine future treats.
Jake Gyllenhaal, at 39, is a man's man as Quentin Beck, Mysterio.
*worldwide 2009's Avatar stands at $2,788.0 while Avenger's ENDGAME is at $2,751.6 - Wikipedia rounding it off to 2,752 billion. Does it have enough juice to overtake Avatar in the coming weeks?
SPIDERMAN FAR FROM HOME
160m budget
Endgame:
| Budget | $356 million[3] |
|---|---|
| Box office | $2.752 billion[3] |