1,739,942 @ 11:31 am 11-25-2020
1,739,857 @ 7:55 am 11-25-2020
THE EVE OF THE TENTH ANNIVERSARY OF CROOKED SHERIFF'S DEATH
1739763 @ MIDNIGHT 11-25-2020
289 HITS IN 300 MINUTES, ALMOST A HIT A MINUTE
THERE IS A GOD DEPARTMENT
Don't blame us...Me TV aired this nugget tonight
and it was too good to pass up!
WHILE EUNICE'S CREW IS HARASSING A DISABLED SENIOR CITIZEN, 11:30 PM THE ME-TV CHANNEL INSPIRES US FOR THE NEWEST PARODY
THE CASE OF THE PINT-SIZED CLIENT
AT THE MEDFORD INDICTED HEADQUARTERS ON FELLSWAY NEAR STOP AND SHOP...
POLICE CHIEF LAME DUCKLEY: Eunice, it looks bad for your gals, they violated all sorts of laws
PINT-SIZED EUNICE: Who needs a Perry Mason when a corrupt chief of police is going to bail us out...and we know Doug Nagenblast moved to Woburn so he's not going to pull a West Medford Hillside Little League on us...how much cash do you need, Chief?
Chief Duckley: Not this time, Eunice, because the blogger is always right, Eu are NOT very Nice
in walks a creepy woman with a cane
Eunice: Chief, meet Merry Can'tgetlaidpaw
Chief Lame Duckley: That's an odd name
Eunice: Not if you know Merry
Chief: Why the cane?
Eunice: Oh, her kids probably kicked her in the knee again because she usually whacks the little bastards with a horse whip
Chief: I don't want to hear this
Merry: Oh, we're old friends...the chief and I go way back
Chief Lame Duckley: Delusional too. Who is this woman?
Merry: I'm best friends with the city council president, the mayor, and I want to sleep with half the police force
Chief Lame Duckley: GET AWAY FROM ME, help.
Basset-hound-face comes out of the kitchen: "Hey, Merry, i stuck the 54,000.00 we stole from your parents' jewelry store last night in the coffee can
Eunice: Oh, God ...Lollabrigida is going to think it's the funds she took from the school athletes. Amazing how one hundred grand turns into eight hundred thou...how does she do it?
Chief Lame Duckley: You stole from your own parents? What's this, a chick-flick version of the 2007 film Before the Devil Knows You're Dead? What next?
Merry: First they sued their parents, then they killed them!
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0292963/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_28
Basset Hound -Face: Have you read any of my 44 novels, Chief? I'm a world-famous author...I get all my ideas from these freaks of nature. They sue their parents, kill them, kick their kids around, they're like Dr. Rabies from TV3 on steroids!
Merry: You sued your parents and killed them
Bassett-Hound-Face: No I didn't, YOU DID, YOU DID
Chief Lame Duckley: So that's why you do janitorial duties for a real estate office? What the hell am I doing here, Eunice?
Eunice: You're engaging with the criminal element - no different from the 39 cops on the Brady List at 100 Main St.
Chief: 30
Eunice: Who's counting?
Chief: Clearly, the guy that is sending you all to prison is counting, and he isn't a cop, he isn't a lawyer...
Eunice: I know, I know, he's an investigative reporter
Chief: And he got the L'Italien Report out of Mark Dumbley's cold, unclean lawyer hands. He's being very quiet about all the goods that he has on you! Eunice, any more of the criminal element you were talking about?
Eunice: Here comes one now.
(In walks Gina Fantina Lollabrigida)
Lollabrigida goes to the coffee can in the kitchen and starts throwing things....WHO THE FUXXXX PUT THEIR HANDS IN MY STASH?
MERRY: just need to borrow 50k to bribe the fat cop in your living room
Lollabrigida: I had Eight Hundred Thousand Dollars that I ripped off the sports teams in Medford, WHERE THE HELL IS IT? I need to buy a used Porsche
Eunice: You wait for delivery each day until three/dialing for dollars is trying to find thee...
Lollabrigida: never trust an obese cop with our insider secrets. How much are we going to charge people to join our xclusive club, get some photo ops with the head cop, we ain't never gonna see him again. We need the photos for blackmail purposes...who wants to have sex with him? (Basset-face and Merry raise their hands)....Oh, good, an orgy...I'll get the camera I stole from the vice chair of the school committee
Chief tries to get the hell out of there. Sounds like a mouse is screaming
Basset--hound-face: You stepped on Eunice!
Chief: What do you mean?
Basset-hound-face: You see, every time that Lollabrigida lies her nose grows
Chief:Like Pinocchio?
Merry Yes, Just like Pinocchio!
Basset-Hound-Face; And when Eunice lies, which is all the time
Chief: She turns into the incredible shrinking woman
Lollabrigida: Woman? HA...Mini-Mouse is more like it
Chief: I have a feeling that this parody is going to get worse
Eunice (with toilet paper roll as a megaphone) MUCH WORSE
Chief: From Land of the Giants to Before the Devil Knows You're Dead...help, it's like a very bad Twilight Episode
TO BE CONTINUED
GET READY, YOU'RE GOING TO NEED YOUR SAFETY BELTS FOR THIS PARODY, YOU'LL BE ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING AT MEDFORD INDICTED, NOT WITH THEM, when this parody REALLY HEATS UP....a corrupt chief getting his come-uppance and more.. and the four ugly chicks all try to have sex with the gay ex librarian from Woburn...do stay tuned...they are SO obsessed with gay men...
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