Dear Police Chief Buckley Dept.

 

Dearest Chief Buckley,

 

If I go gender neutral can I apply for the job  

 of female detention attendant?   I promise you the gals can be as naked as J Birds and it won't have an effect on me at all.   A famous record producer would be my witness, he would stare at a beautiful woman and say "JOE, that does absolutely nothing for you?"  But he's dead so cross him off the witness list.

Still need some proof?  I can provide it:

I loved my girlfriend but seeing her naked did, as our mutual friend the record producer stated above, nothing for me, to her frustration.  That's why we had so many threesomes.  Now THAT was fun.  Tell Sgt. Hartnett he can't file sexual harassment claims against me if he likes the attention.   I know he's yours, but variety is the spice of life.

As for applying to be a firefighter, I don't shoot heroin, as you know, with the church I go to.
Nor would I ever want to.  Is that a dealbreaker?

 

Other/Ongoing Positions:

• Female Detention Attendant/Police Matron (Police Department)
• Firefighters
• Police Officers
• Traffic Supervisors

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