FINALLY, A HANDSOME MAN STALKING ME! CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR

 SO I WAS TALKING TO AN EX BOYFRIEND LAST NIGHT, WE STILL TALK ALL THE TIME...AND HE SAID 'HOW DO YOU GET THESE GOOD LOOKING GUYS AROUND YOU?"

(I think the dude is actually an emissary or employee of a private investigator who left his card on my doorstep.  If we see the extraordinarily good looking one in court next month I will file a motion to the judge that he apologize to me...on the overnight shift....SINCE HE KNOWS WHERE I LIVE, HE MOST LIKELY KNOWS WHERE I SHOP.  HE'S STALKING FOR A FRIEND, WHEN HE SHOULD BE SHOPPING FOR A FRIEND, THE JUDGE CAN LET US SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE)  

Joe Vig allows Young Lady to Go Ahead of Him In Line at Another Store Friday Night...Because I AM a gentleman. 11/5/21

https://medfordinformationcentral.blogspot.com/2021/11/young-girl-at-grocery-store-tonighti.html

WELL, Y'KNOW HOW I'VE BEEN COMPLAINING ABOUT UGLY STALKERS CARAVIELLO, FINNY, PSYCHO LESBIAN, ARTHUR DELUCA, MARK TONELLO AND ALL THE OVERWEIGHT UGLY STALKERS THAT SEEM OH SO FIXATED ON ME?

AND HOW I WISH FOR HANDSOME STALKERS.

IT SEEMS WE HAVE ONE.   FINALLY

THIS BREATHTAKINGLY GORGEOUS GUY IS FOLLOWING ME AROUND THE GROCERY STORE.  I AM NOT KIDDING ...YEAH, I KNOW, TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, RIGHT?

HE WALKS BY ME UP TO AN AISLE WITH NO CASH REGISTER PERSON.  CLUE #1.

HE HAS 1 ITEM!

I HAVE LIKE 50 ITEMS, ALL SMALL, IN A BASKET, AND SLOW AS MOLASSES WITH BROKEN ARM TAKING THEM OUT OF THE CART.   YOU KNOW, THE USUAL STUFF, 15 CANS OF CAT FOOD, EGGS, NON-DAIRY CREAMER, HO HUM...

THE DUDE GETS BEHIND ME IN LINE.

SO I SAY "SIR, YOU CAN GO AHEAD OF ME."

I MEAN WHEN SOMETHING IS THAT STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL YOU, OF COURSE, OFFER THEM THE POLITENESS THAT THEY DESERVE.

'I'M FINE' HE SAYS...THIS THING WAS GORGEOUS.

'IT'S THE LUCK OF THE DRAW' HE SAID...

I COULD ABUSE THAT LINE WITH A VERY SEXUAL COMMENT BUT I DIDN'T AND I WON'T....

SO I'M DOING THE QUICK MATH IN MY HEAD AND SAID ...'HMMMM....THIS GUY IS FOLLOWING ME AROUND."

SO CONSPICUOUS TRYING TO LOOK LIKE HE WASN'T WATCHING WHAT I'M UP TO....LIKE BUYING CAT FOOD...YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE NOT LOOKING AND YOU CAN TELL SOMEONE IS WATCHING YOU, THIS TIME THE DUDE'S TRYING TO BE NON CHALANT (nonchalant as well) AND YOU KNOW HE'S WATCHING ME.   LIKE A P.I. WOULD.

NOW, YOU KNOW MY LIFE, FOUR LAWSUITS GOING ON RIGHT NOW....YEAH, IT'S A SLOW MONTH....AND SOME PRIVATE DETECTIVE LEAVES HIS CARD ON MY DOORSTEP  ---

NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE MEDFORD POLICE DETECTIVE LEAVING HIS CARD ON MY DOORSTEP LOOKING FOR 'VIDEO SURVEILLANCE FOOTAGE."   

oh, sure......THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL SAY!!!!...

BETCHA I GET MORE PRIVATE INVESTIGATORS AND POLICE OFFICERS LEAVING THEIR CARD ON MY PORCH THAN YOU DO, BUT I DIGRESS.

LIKE WILL SMITH IN I ROBOT "I CAN'T BE THIS UNLUCKY"

OR MAYBE I'LL GET LUCKY WITH THE HOTTY.

JUST DON'T TELL MY BOYFRIENDS AND EX BOYFRIENDS...I want to surprise them. Ménage à Trois so underrated these days, and oh so much fun!

Time for a movie quote:

'AT MY AGE, I'LL TAKE WHAT I CAN GET"

MICHAEL DOUGLAS, VISUAL RADIO VIDEO GUEST, FROM THE FILM WALL STREET: MONEY NEVER SLEEPS

LET'S HAVE A SHOW OF HANDS:

HOW MANY OF YOU GET A CONSTABLE SHOWING UP FOR A LOCAL TROUBLEMAKER, A MEDFORD POLICE DETECTIVE LEAVING HIS BUSINESS CARD ON A MALDEN PORCH, AND A PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR LEAVING HIS CARD ON YOUR PORCH?

SO WHEN SOME HANDSOME DUDE IS FINALLY STALKING ME INSTEAD OF MS. PUTTY FACE, Praise the Lord, SOME EXCITEMENT IN MY LIFE.

IF THE GOOD LOOKING STALKER NEEDS IN DEPTH INFORMATION, GIVE A CALL!   

file under: WHORI CHECK

EXCELLENT: A GREAT LOOKING STALKER, WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED

THANK YOU, JESUS!

I KNOW I'M FUNNY, MY HUMOR IS QUITE SPECIAL...BUT, REALLY, THE UGLY STALKERS HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO WITH THEIR LIVES THAN GET FIXATED ON MOI?

I HAVE SOME PLANS FOR THE GOOD LOOKING STALKER, I'LL TELL YOU THAT, LOTS OF THEM, ALL IN THE HORIZONTAL POSITION.   STAY TUNED.

ON THIS ONE, I WILL KISS AND TELL.

My late girlfriend would say "I'll fxxx you, but kissing is much too personal," as well as "How could he take a one night stand so seriously?"

To my darling Jo Jo, Personal?  With this one it's Around the World in 80 Days....truly....

Yum!

ok, time for Breanna Lungo Koehn Poetry Corner

I Want to be Stalked

Hey Handsome, You Want 

Your world to be ROCKED

I see you staring

I want to be stalked

Supermarkets

are the new gay bar

you gonna follow me home

or make me wish upon a star?

this coupon don't accept

my fan base / only half-cocked

with a face like that

i want to be stalked

If to be continued

and the story enlarges

if he gets his way

I won't press charges