Rick Caraviello for Mayor, and for Composting: The Return of Fatlock - a Medford Info Parody

 *Editor's Note: Factually, Rick Caraviello lost a case in criminal court.  The dirty S.O.B. pressed false charges against a citizen claiming the short guy was intimidating big, fat Rick Caraviello who allegedly lied under oath about the other fat bastard, Ed Finn, when Finn slugged the short guy over a Free Speech issue.   The citizen won and Rick Caraviello had egg on his face, and had to admit under oath that he was one of the Top 10 S.O.B.'s in Medford.  

This was in front of the judge~~ !  The victim in the case couldn't contain his laughter when Caraviello fessed to the judge that, indeed, he was listed as one of the Top 10 S.O.B.'s in Medford.  The judge, Michele Hogan, has retired.  She had had enough of the buffoonery of Caraviello and that other fat bastard "retired" alleged detective Paul MacKowski.   Deranged public officials beating up on innocent victims because they were too lazy to protect the public from real criminals.  May they burn in hell for all eternity. 

Witnesses heard Rick at Demet's Donuts the morning of the trial saying he was going to send an innocent man to prison.  Well, Fatboy Caraviello, that lying, thieving bastard, lost, even his lies didn't fool the judge.  Egg on his face, Caraviello went on to lose bids for Mayor and his beloved city council that he would spit at.  Goodbye to bad rubbish.

Rick Caraviello for Mayor - a parody. "After seeing the Globe article on composting, I - the star of the legal television series Fatlock, a parody of Matlock, think we should remove all the bodies in Medford cemeteries and compost them! Sure the Formaldehyde might ruin the flowers, but having been known for my laziness on the city council that wouldn't vote me back in, I say destroy them all and add them to the compost heap. Our Revolution refused my overtures to join them, and here I am on the sidelines munching away on Nell Escobar Coakley's chocolate bon bons. Human composting, Nell and I have both signed up to lead the way." This is a parody, send all lawsuits to the late David Skerry, composted with Johnny Granara with Michael J. McGlynn waiting in the wings.

 

The good news is that Boston doesn’t have to choose between staying small, opt-in, and expensive or waiting for the Massachusetts mandate to take composting citywide. Garbage to Garden added a Medford-style pilot into the city’s current contract in the hopes that the city would want to test it. The pilot, if the city chooses to go ahead, would extend opt-in enrollment to specific neighborhoods rather than the whole city at once, paired with the kind of intensive, door-to-door outreach that worked in Medford. Frank estimates it could roughly double participation in those zones for about 30 percent more cost, a fraction of what building a citywide universal system from scratch would take. No launch date has been set.

 

https://www.bostonglobe.com/2026/09/19/opinion/boston-composting-medford/?et_rid=1745480152&s_campaign=todaysheadlines:newsletter&utm_source=todaysheadlines:newsletter:sub  

 

Human Composting vs. Flame Cremation

MetricHuman Composting (NOR)Flame Cremation

Process

Enclosed vessel with plant material and microbes

High-heat fossil fuel combustion

Duration

6 to 12 weeks (including curing)

2 to 4 hours

Output

About 1 cubic yard of fertile soil

About 5 lbs of dry bone ash

Energy Use

Uses 87%–90% less energy

High energy usage

Carbon Impact

Saves ~1 metric ton of CO₂

Emits 500–600+ lbs of CO₂

The Composting Process

Preparation: The body is gently washed and wrapped in a biodegradable shroud or placed on a bed of natural materials. [1, 2]
The Laying In: Staff place the remains inside a specialized steel vessel, layering them with a custom blend of wood chips, alfalfa, and straw. [1, 2]
Active Decomposition: Microbes naturally break down the tissues and bones inside the monitored vessel over 5 to 7 weeks. High temperatures naturally achieved during this phase destroy harmful pathogens. [1, 2, 3, 4]
Curing and Return: Any remaining bone fragments are mechanically reduced, and the resulting soil cures in an aerated bin for 3 to 5 weeks. The family receives roughly one cubic yard of nutrient-dense soil to use for gardening or donate to conservation land. [1, 2, 3]

Cost and Environmental Impact

Financial Cost: Prices for human composting through specialized providers like Recompose or Return Home typically range from $5,000 to $7,000, which is comparable to a traditional funeral service but higher than direct cremation. [1, 2]
Carbon Reduction: Choosing human composting prevents roughly one metric ton of carbon dioxide from entering the atmosphere compared to conventional burial or cremation. It also avoids the use of toxic embalming chemicals. [1, 2, 3, 4]

Legality and Availability

State Legality: As of 2026, human composting is legally authorized in 14 U.S. states, including Washington, Oregon, Colorado, Vermont, California, New York, Nevada, Arizona, Maryland, Delaware, Minnesota, Maine, Georgia, and New Jersey.
Logistical Hurdles: Because dedicated facilities are still uncommon, families often must pay additional transportation fees to ship a loved one's remains to an operating facility in another state.
Religious and Legal Restrictions: The Catholic Church and several other religious groups oppose human composting because it does not leave distinct remains to be placed in an urn or sacred burial ground. Additionally, laws prohibit using the resulting soil to grow food for human consumption or selling the compost commercially.