MIC (Like MI6 in England, but more powerful, edited by the Miffed Off PhXX)
We're talking to Fraud Scamuso, the new Director of the Commissioner of Public Safety in Medford.
All names are fictional and for entertainment purposes only; no reference is made to people living or on the slab at the Dello Russo home for ex-breathers.
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MIC: Mr. Scamuso, a person was quoted as saying "How did HE get hired at the office of the Sheriff." Any comment given your alleged deep, dark criminal history?
Fraud Scamuso: After they dropped the restraining order for me trying to attack Grandma with the meat cleaver, the president of the Rug Store in Whackchester paid the late Sheriff DiSwallow Twenty Five Thou to hire me. That's 10k more than he was getting from the lieutenant wannabes up at the Billerica House of Correction.
MIC: That's a hefty sum from a hefty guy
Commissioner Fraud Scamuso: Hey, I didn't pay it, that was the beauty of it; the family just wanted to get rid of me and have me "go straight," so to speak.
MIF: Wouldn't former DA Martha Crooked from 46 Crooked Road frown upon such graft, corruption, bribery and nepotism?
Fraud Scamuso: Martha? My dear editor, Martha wouldn't know a scammer if he lived on 22 Crooked Road and she lived 14 paces up!
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http://medfordinformationcentral.blogspot.com/2013/09/letter-to-martha-coakley.html
Fraud Scamuso continues: In fact, I betcha she wouldn't know the crooked sob if he was staring at her upside down on a blog in a photo taken while he was standing next to the charlatan city council president IN a document that was an exhibit in your highly suspicious criminal trial!!!
MIF: But don't you think there will be a deep CORI on you and your ass could get booted out of this department quicker than a Crick Faraviello case gets thrown out of criminal court?
Fraud Scamuso: Since we have Marian, Maura and Martha on the take
MIC: The THREE M's...
Fraud Scamuso: That's right, just like the industrial tape company
Maura, Martha and Marian - oh my God, the new photo looks like creepy River's Edge, doesn't it?
With those three gals on the take, our biggest problem in this city is YOU
So finally, editor, how do we silence you without Don Paulato's gang driving you off the highway with a big truck in the dark of night?
MIC: Are you attempting to bribe me?
Fraud Scamuso: More like, your pal Gilbert Goddspeed in Beverly Hill Cops having something in this hand and what's in the other hand disappears
MIC: Oh you mean if I get to stripsearch Bragengast I'd be too busy to keep this etch a sketch of a blog happening
Fraud Scamuso: Glad you used the BR instead of the PH...Not just any old stripsearch my good friend but an ESS
MIC: ESS?
Fraud Scamuso: Yes, an EXTENDED STRIP SEARCH of an official AADA for three months of you pillaging and plundering him ...over 90 days of debauchery on an AADA
MIC: All-American Duck's Ass...
Fraud Scamuso: Something like that, just asking you to consider it....and I'm willing to bet my father-in-law's recliner that you'll be happy go lucky after your extended encounter with Phragengast
MIC: Glad you put the "r" in there
Fraud Scamuso: Had to, or I'd start drinking again and they'd throw me out of AA
MIC: So if I stop posting to the blog, and you give me Mr. Phragengast in cuffs, chains and complete bondage, you will be happy?
Fraud Scamuso: And so will she...and we if you take the deal! And I promise you as an added bonus I WILL stay out of my father-in-law's recliner and stop eating him out of house and home!
MIC: Then so will he! Ol' Phrankie will light 3 candles at the high mass and be jumping for joy this Easter season if I perform a true miracle and get your fat ass finally out of his recliner for good
Fraud Scamuso: The things I do for the mayor...
K-9 doggies bark their approval in unison
RUFF RUFF !!!
TO BE CONTINUED