160,273
160,290
FROM UNDER THE ROCK ACCESS
PRESENTS
THE JOHNNY BRIARS POLITICAL ROUNDTABLE
A PARODY
A Very Bad Parody...
And if you are busy reading it,
what does that say about your pathetic life?
JBriers: Hi All
Dr. W. Wouldnt: Please don't start with the same opening line of that crackpot
State Rep Cal ShortTeeny: Which crackpot? There are so many
J Briers: Well, it sure ain't Howdy Doody time
Dr. Would You, William?: No, that happens every Tuesday night with the new Council president
JBriers; Good, doctor, tell me, why does ShortTeeny always bring up gay issues...gay, gay, gay, gay, gay... we are all so very tired of his homo posturing and one-note-Charlie platform.
DWW: Well, he can throw a vote to an elected official accused of domestic violence; and not every issue he speaks of is gay. Carl, what do you think about the Cradock bridge?
Cal Short-teeny: I think the Cradock Bridge might interfere in gay pride day so I'm against it.
The fellas will be marching along the river and have no place to go!
J Briers; What about the Water Taxi to Gilligan's Island the Mayor has proposed?
Carl Short-teeny: Well, if the taxi was running during the Cradock Bridge renovation, we could take the gay pride parade onto the water! What gay parties we could have on a water taxi! Dykeries anyone?
J Briers: That's DAIQUIRI ...DACK-err-EEEE...
Carl: No, I had it right the first time.
Dr. Wouldn't: You're striking out, Cal. One more chance... what about the garage?
Carl Shortteeny: Now that's a splendid idea. I'd give McGlynn the 8 million myself if I had it. We can make the money back in a year!
Dr. Wouldn't: And you've been smoking what, Cal? How in the name of Rep Don Paulato, the Don of Beacon Hill, are you going to bring in 8 million with that DUMB parking garage idea?
Carl: We shut down the gay cruise area in Stoneham and force the boys to "c'mon down" to the new parking garage...8 floors of cruise control...$25.00 to park, 1,000 tricks a day, we'll make our money back in no time.
J Briers; More GAY S^#T I've had it!
Dr. Wouldn't: Jyers is right!
J. Jyers; CAN YOU BRING UP ANY ISSUE THAT DOESN'T HAVE A GAY CONNOTATION TO IT, CARL?
Short-teeny: A barrier at abortion clinics! None of my male gay friends - and a good majority of the lezbos - have ever had an abortion, I promise you!
J Briers; THIS GUY IS OUT TO LUNCH. WE HAVEN'T HAD A PROBLEM WITH AN ABORTION CLINIC IN OVER 20 YEARS....IT IS A NON ISSUE. CAN YOU NAME ONE ISSUE THAT ISN'T GAY AND THAT ISN'T SO ANTIQUATED THAT THE VOTERS CAN FEEL YOU ARE TAKING RISKS ON THEIR BEHALF
Carl: No.
Dr. Wouldn't: Well, at least that's honest.
J Briers: changing topics, let's look at the Patch arrests for last week.
Tuesday, Feb. 18
Gary Sarno, 42, of 12 Butler St., Medford, was arrested at
10:39 p.m. Tuesday at 12 Butler St. on a warrant with the following charges:
indecent assault and battery on a person 14 or over, assault and battery and
assisting a person under 21 in possessing alcohol.
http://medford.patch.com/groups/police-and-fire/p/25-recent-arrests-in-medford
Carl Shorteeie: OK, now you are pushing my buttons. That is NOT a real name. You are trying to get me to go on record about fraud non-profits and I will not step into that trap. Next thing you'll present is the conviction of Harvey DeLucia or something.
J Jyers; Bingo! Did get you to go there!
Dr. Wouldn't William: It wasn't that hard. And it looks like that Gary Sarno person came from the Park Marenteau school of intoxication...where he majors in...
J Jyers, host: >>>Moving right along, Dr. Wouldn't
Dr. Wouldn't: You interrupted my punchline
J Jyers, Host: And you noticed!
Carl Schiorteenie: It was a trick question and this interview is going nowhere. How do we open a gay bar in Medford, now that that's what is on everyone's mind in this city...
Dr William Wouldn't: Oh, easy, a gay bar under the Medford Municipal Garage cruise area!
(The bad news for you, dear reader? This lame parody is...)TO BE CONTINUED*
*OK, it's not as funny as the Dali Lama stuff, but that's due to the boring stuffed shirts in this city masquerading as politicians...we need a Toronto Mayor on crack or something to really get the creative juices flowing...