Political Roundtable (parody) - Johnny Briars interviews Cal "Don't Call Me Ziggy" ShortTeeny and Dr Wouldn't William

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FROM UNDER THE ROCK ACCESS
PRESENTS

THE JOHNNY BRIARS POLITICAL ROUNDTABLE
A PARODY
A Very Bad Parody...
And if you are busy reading it,
what does that say about your pathetic life?


JBriers: Hi All

Dr. W. Wouldnt: Please don't start with the same opening line of that crackpot

State Rep Cal ShortTeeny: Which crackpot? There are so many 

J Briers: Well, it sure ain't Howdy Doody time

Dr. Would You, William?: No, that happens every Tuesday night with the new Council president

JBriers; Good, doctor, tell me, why does ShortTeeny always bring up gay issues...gay, gay, gay, gay, gay... we are all so very tired of his homo posturing and one-note-Charlie platform.

DWW: Well, he can throw a vote to an elected official accused of domestic violence; and not every issue he speaks of is gay.  Carl, what do you think about the Cradock bridge?


Cal Short-teeny:     I think the Cradock Bridge might interfere in gay pride day so I'm against it.
The fellas will be marching along the river and have no place to go!

J Briers; What about the Water Taxi to Gilligan's Island the Mayor has proposed?

Carl Short-teeny: Well, if the taxi was running during the Cradock Bridge renovation, we could take the gay pride parade onto the water! What gay parties we could have on a water taxi!   Dykeries anyone?

J Briers: That's DAIQUIRI ...DACK-err-EEEE...

Carl: No, I had it right the first time.  

Dr. Wouldn't:  You're striking out, Cal.  One more chance... what about the garage?

Carl Shortteeny:  Now that's a splendid idea. I'd give McGlynn the 8 million myself if I had it. We can make the money back in a year!


 Dr. Wouldn't:  And you've been smoking what, Cal? How in the name of Rep Don Paulato, the Don of Beacon Hill, are you going to bring in 8 million with that DUMB parking garage idea?


Carl: We shut down the gay cruise area in Stoneham and force the boys to "c'mon down" to the new parking garage...8 floors of cruise control...$25.00 to park, 1,000 tricks a day, we'll make our money back in no time.

J Briers; More GAY S^#T   I've had it!

Dr. Wouldn't: Jyers is right!

J. Jyers; CAN YOU BRING UP ANY ISSUE THAT DOESN'T HAVE A GAY CONNOTATION TO IT, CARL?

Short-teeny:  A barrier at abortion clinics!  None of my male gay friends - and a good majority of the lezbos -  have ever had an abortion, I promise you!

J Briers; THIS GUY IS OUT TO LUNCH.  WE HAVEN'T HAD A PROBLEM WITH AN ABORTION CLINIC IN OVER 20 YEARS....IT IS A NON ISSUE. CAN YOU NAME ONE ISSUE THAT ISN'T GAY AND THAT ISN'T SO ANTIQUATED THAT THE VOTERS CAN FEEL YOU ARE TAKING RISKS ON THEIR BEHALF

Carl: No.

Dr. Wouldn't: Well, at least that's honest.  

J Briers: changing topics, let's look at the Patch arrests for last week.


Tuesday, Feb. 18
Gary Sarno, 42, of 12 Butler St., Medford, was arrested at 10:39 p.m. Tuesday at 12 Butler St. on a warrant with the following charges: indecent assault and battery on a person 14 or over, assault and battery and assisting a person under 21 in possessing alcohol.

http://medford.patch.com/groups/police-and-fire/p/25-recent-arrests-in-medford
  
Carl Shorteeie:  OK, now you are pushing my buttons. That is NOT a real name.  You are trying to get me to go on record about fraud non-profits and I will not step into that trap.  Next thing you'll present is the conviction of Harvey DeLucia or something.

J Jyers; Bingo!  Did get you to go there!

Dr. Wouldn't William: It wasn't that hard. And it  looks like that Gary Sarno person came from the Park Marenteau school of intoxication...where he majors in...

J Jyers, host: >>>Moving right along, Dr. Wouldn't

Dr. Wouldn't: You interrupted my punchline

J Jyers, Host: And you noticed!

Carl Schiorteenie: It was a trick question and this interview is going nowhere.  How do we open a gay bar in Medford, now that that's what is on everyone's mind in this city...

Dr William Wouldn't: Oh, easy, a gay bar under the Medford Municipal Garage cruise area!


(The bad news for you, dear reader?  This lame parody is...)TO BE CONTINUED*

*OK, it's not as funny as the Dali Lama stuff, but that's due to the boring stuffed shirts in this city masquerading as politicians...we need a Toronto Mayor on crack or something to really get the creative juices flowing...