ZAC BEARS as Vice President of Medford City Council Creates new Name and TV show; THE FAT FARM AT ALDEN CHAMBERS

AN INTERVIEW WITH 'FAT ZAC' BEARS 

MEDFORD INFO (mic)

MIC: fat Zac, why have you changed the name of the city council?

ZB: With Porky Pig Caraviello, Wild Hog Scarpelli, Adam Fatabise as clerk, 

it was time to reveal our true selves.

MIC: is the rumor true that Scarpelli is going to drive on a motorbike up

the chamber steps and beat people up like Ed Finn would?

ZB: Not to my knowledge

MIC: In the public access TV version of The Fat Farm at the Medford City Council

doesn't Scarpelli get some hillibillies to ride on him yelling "Squeal like a piggy?
 

ZB: Deliverance is my favorite movie; the thought of Scarpelli  with the gay 

hillbillies on top of him is not something you want to put in people's minds.  Eeeeek.

MIC: Would serve him right if the hillbillies had a broomstick like the Otis Mass

incident...

ZB: Don't give him any ideas, with my weight penetration would be delayed by 

about four months anyway

MIC: Did you see yourself on the final council meeting of the year?

You looked like Fat Bastard from the Mini Me film

ZB: Yep, 30k a year in mommy and daddy's basement makes for non stop pizza

I'm thinking of being a linebacker for the Mustangs

MIC: So you're not pregnant with sextuplets, that's actually pizza fat?

ZB: Let me try the in-home pregnancy test, we'll give you the results 

during Part 2 of this travesty you call a parody

to be continued

this, of course, is a parody of the real-life cellulite ruining the Alden Chambers floors