AN INTERVIEW WITH 'FAT ZAC' BEARS
MEDFORD INFO (mic)
MIC: fat Zac, why have you changed the name of the city council?
ZB: With Porky Pig Caraviello, Wild Hog Scarpelli, Adam Fatabise as clerk,
it was time to reveal our true selves.
MIC: is the rumor true that Scarpelli is going to drive on a motorbike up
the chamber steps and beat people up like Ed Finn would?
ZB: Not to my knowledge
MIC: In the public access TV version of The Fat Farm at the Medford City Council
doesn't Scarpelli get some hillibillies to ride on him yelling "Squeal like a piggy?
ZB: Deliverance is my favorite movie; the thought of Scarpelli with the gay
hillbillies on top of him is not something you want to put in people's minds. Eeeeek.
MIC: Would serve him right if the hillbillies had a broomstick like the Otis Mass
incident...
ZB: Don't give him any ideas, with my weight penetration would be delayed by
about four months anyway
MIC: Did you see yourself on the final council meeting of the year?
You looked like Fat Bastard from the Mini Me film
ZB: Yep, 30k a year in mommy and daddy's basement makes for non stop pizza
I'm thinking of being a linebacker for the Mustangs
MIC: So you're not pregnant with sextuplets, that's actually pizza fat?
ZB: Let me try the in-home pregnancy test, we'll give you the results
during Part 2 of this travesty you call a parody
to be continued
this, of course, is a parody of the real-life cellulite ruining the Alden Chambers floors
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