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» Candidates Night! October 16, 2013 We have the Exclusive
128,787
secretly Taped at Alden Chambers October 12
Hear Ye, Hear Ye, this is Dr. William Wood to
commence the taping of Candidate's Night.
This secret taping will be broadcast on
Wednesday night. Since no one comes to these
things the audience watching on TV will think
it is live.
All union members prepare for the Crescendo.
We'll all applaud Mike McGlynn and tape that
first, Jack Dempsey will edit and broadcast it
at the end of the program. You can all go home
early if we get a good take.
Carolyn Rosen: My husband is disabled, so if
he hits anyone during the taping or violates the
by-laws of the Massachusetts Democratic party
we will just blame his illness. This year we are
calling his disability Aphasia. Note that in your
talking points when he gets nasty and punches
someone on the school committee.
(On cue, Dr. William Wood goes over and punches
George Scarpelli in the gut.)
Scarpelli: Why did you do that?
Wood: Because, you deserved a good caning and
your tummy can take it.
(Wood then kicks Scarpelli in the shins, the big
dude buckles over and falls into McGlynn's arms)
Wood: Tonight I am the timekeeper, I have the
Wicked Witch's hourglass from the Wizard of
Oz.
Our first speaker is William Young of the
Medford Housing Authority. Keep in mind,
when certain outside agitators call us out for
Frank Call: "Did you call me?"
Wood: "Calls us out for using 501c3's to engage
in political speech, even though the politicians
will have great control over the tax-free entities,
just blame my disability. This year the code word
for my disability is senile autism
Carolyn Rosen: Aphasia. Aphasia. We decided that
this year it would be Aphasia.
Wood: AUTISM. You always have to stick your
two cents in, Carolyn. Autism, not Aphasia. I'm
getting into the part, don't interrupt me.
Wood: Now, I was saying, before I worked with
Tennessee Williams I founded a little group called
The Velvet Underground. This is when a young
Andy Warhol was my protege. I had both
Andy Warhol and Roger Corman in my class when
I was a teacher on Sunset Boulevard, however
Nell Coakley: Put a sock in it, Wood. I need to
get to Colleens for my Chocolate Sundae Fix, your
resume changes the way I change my hair
Nick Iovino: But, boss, I've never seen you change
your hair?
Nell: Nick, it's an expression.
Wood: Who brought that talking Jack-o-Lantern
in here?
...to be continued
