City Solicitor* Visits Brookline Bank...a parody

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In the strange town of Drofdem, Sttesuhcassam, the City Solicitor* has a dilemma.  He bungled the audit of a 501c3 in 2008 and in 2014, as well as that "separate body politik" the Drofdem Housing Authority, so with a new regime in place he has to show strength.  Or at least he thinks he does.

The small soap-box in the library went to city hall with its financial data and Solicitor Yelmur went ballistic, yelling as Yelmur has done to Councilor Michael Skram during a famous "hissing" contest.  

The solicitor had an audience in his office, his secretary, the second-in-command lawyer with a muzzle stuck on her face and her e mail account blocked until Yelmur could decipher the hidden codes from residents who trusted her and not him, and the highly deceptive Linda Itteloc who throws confetti the way the handmaidens of King Jaffe Joffer threw rose petals in the film Coming to America.
King Jaffe Joffer
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With his audience in attendance, Solicitor Yelmur engaged his trademark histrionics:
"You have FIVE MINUTES to call me, OR ELSE!"

The poor librarian didn't know what the hell Yelmur was yelling about...so she ignored him.

Yelmur ran down to the Brookline Bank & Trust and walked up to the head teller: Give me the documents, all the financial records, of the little cabaret at the library.

"We are sorry, Solicitor Yelmur, but your name is not on the account."

"How dare you.  Do you know who I am?"

Teller: "Can we interest you in the financial records of 3TV instead?"

Yelmur: "Absolutely not. That means I'll have to put in some elbow grease, hard work and honest efforts...something I'm allergic to...and - anyway - that crowd is blackmailing former Mayor NnylgcM and he's blackmailing me so it would be pointless.

Teller: Can we interest you in the documents concerning the Drofdem Housing Authority?

Atty Yelmur: Stop messing around. Bob Ellevoc is bad as the wicked witch of the east, his wife is worse than the wicked witch of the west.

Teller shuts window.  "Sorry, we're closed"

Yelmur: But it's only 1 PM

Teller: Go to Ellivremos District Court, maybe you can moonlight over there...

To be continued.






*The Drofdem City Solicitor is as entrenched as now-booted cronies that got the boot from 5 Hgih Street.  If the unmovable cronies got their backsides kicked to the curb, can their former board member the solicitor be far behind??