Said we weren't going to discuss the boyfriend from 2018 who passed on New Year's Day, however, I found a leather carrying case I LOANED HIM today at my office.
He had all this family china and wanted me to put it up on eBay around Christmas 2018.... I had to throw out about 20 broken pieces, heartbreaking.
Thinking to myself, "what a jerk." I had loaned him the leather carrying case around November 2018 and left him in January of 2019 (and he passed in January of 2023, four years later...) and there it was in my office, with a lot of broken pieces wrapped in newspaper, but not enough newspaper. That was him.
Think of the metaphor. Handsome man who wasn't even my type, but as an aunt of mine said "You have a heart of gold." Indeed I do, and I'm an oasis for lost souls. Didn't shed a tear for him, but probably would have fallen apart had I stayed with him up to his passing, and the way I care about people, probably would have ended up taking care of him right up to the end. No thank you.
The 2nd ex wife purportedly missing him big time at this point in time, end of May, 2023. Exactly 5 months after his passing on New Year's Day. I'm thinking "You divorced him....and now you miss him?"
Well, I don't.
But the whole china episode on Saturday and the dysfunction comes roaring back as I find my leather case and went through it. Five years later my leather is back with me in my new apartment, with some record albums in it, of course.
So why is he on my mind? Well, I broke up with someone else years ago and one of my examples of that person's childishness that I gave was thus:
...at a restaurant I took my cup of tea and pushed it slowly towards the edge of the table... "We have something good, but if you push this friendship to extinction it's like this cup going off the ledge of this table, and I don't want a friendship we have to glue back together."
He gave me my keys back and said goodbye. This was many years ago. I think he has a kid now, these bisexual men that find something in me that they need. They want to have a wife, they want to have kids, and they want to have a guy.
That example of not gluing a friendship back together so many years ago and today, May 27, going through my leather bag and removing expensive glass he didn't package properly...well...
Speaks volumes, doesn't it?
Things he felt were precious he didn't wrap up with enough paper, WITH ENOUGH CARE, and he just stuffed into a carrying case that belonged to me. Careless with his precious things...like his family china; he proved to be careless with his own children, and with me, and now he's gone.
What a jerk.
When my wisdom told him that he and the first wife were doing a number on his kids, he raised his voice 'DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY KIDS." Well, he was supposed to be with them one night AFTER I lectured him, and he chose to do something else. What a jerk.
A friend of mine said "If he's that careless with his own kids, how do you think he'll treat you?" It was clear, and obvious...it was no longer the way it was when he was draped all over me, telling me that he loved me. So I left.
Had I had to experience his months of dying, it would have been too difficult. But we (people) can often see the writing on the wall. Would I have met the wonderful people in my life that came after him had I stayed? People that make me much happier.
Much much happier.
If you stay in a situation that was wonderful and then begins to fall apart, get a grip. Just move on. New people always enter your life, and I know my value. Know your value. It is indispensable to your happiness and the happiness of your new relationships.
Always seek the most mutually beneficial deep friendships.
Always be good to good people. Stay with those who make you smile.
Any dysfunction, well, at my age, there's the door.
What I said to that one guy I cared about years back with gluing broken glass together (broken friendship) being unacceptable, today I opened my bag to find multiple plates, bowls and glass crushed and destroyed....
Destroyed because he didn't care enough about things and people that meant something to him.
He didn't take care of those that cared about him the way that I do.
As for the rare china...
I put the broken pieces in a Shaws paper bag and out in the trash along with my old garden hoses.
The second ex wife can come by and pick the intact plates etc. up, if she wants.
* * * * * * *
Some people we will love for all eternity....
Others ...are like broken glass where you'll need the Oracle's classroom (the Matrix) to mentally repair the items....lacking those skills....gluing them back together not feasible...
...and
...it's always nice to meet new people.
12:07 am Sunday May 28, 2023
Enjoy your Memorial Day Weekend 2023
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