‘I loved my fiancé, but after
his brain cancer diagnosis
I knew I had to leave him’
FOREVER PARTNER ON DATING APPS?
NOPE, SHALLOW PEOPLE WHO ARE USERS AND NOT IN IT FOR THE LONG HAUL
We had had a brief conversation about our future before his surgery and I’d admitted I was struggling. “But there is a chance it can be cured,” he protested. I ended our relationship about two weeks later. He was still recovering in hospital and I sat and faced him on a chair and told him I couldn’t stay with him. “I can’t see a way I can be happy with you any more,” I said, devastated. I knew I would be no good for him because I couldn’t even function myself, due to the uncertainty of it all and the thought of him suffering more in the future. He needed strength and optimism and I could not provide that. We shed tears, then, for the future we wouldn’t have.
I’m still trying to come to terms with my decision. At the time, I felt like the worst person in the world, and I know if I heard this story about someone else I would think they were selfish. That is partly why I wanted to write this article, because it’s very easy for society to make judgments, but in situations like this there aren’t clear-cut right and wrongs. Sometimes we need to remember we can’t judge someone when we are not in their shoes. Jelle understood, as did my friends and family, and he and I remain close friends.
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