Jackie O'Nassis vs Jackie Frozetti

 Dearest Breanna, We KNOW this poem wasn't written by you because it rhymes and it is FUNNY.

You aren't doing a very good job as Mayor, which is probably a good thing because I will definitely need your legal services.   Sincerely, Editor, Breanna Lungo-Koehn Poetry Corner

p.s. You gotta hear Human Sexual Response do Jackie O'Nassis first to really get the zingers~!!!!

 

I WANT TO BE JACKIE FROZETTI

musty Jackie O

I Want to be Jackie Onassis

https://youtu.be/ZzE3hyKaVG4 

Disco Version

https://youtu.be/1VDydZgujPg 

apologies to Musty Chiffon! 

 

2021 version

 i want to be Jackie Frozetti

Breanna Wins, I will throw the confetti

Mike McGlynn still acting petty

oh yeah

I'm ready to have Rodrigues gagged and bound

Muccini Burke and Big Bird / I will 

send to the pound

I want to be Jackie Frozetti Oh yeah

 

I'm Ready To Direct Communications

at Everett City Hall!

The Gall!

I'll ask CORI checks for TV3 and post them on the bathroom wall.

After all my dates in the political sphere

I'll land in a parody by some old queer

I want to be Jackie Frozetti  Oh Yeah!

 

I'll take the batting cage from Michael Nestor

I think Zac Bears' the poor man's Uncle Fester 

Just let me be Jackie Frozetti Oh Yeah

I'll get blamed for Somerville Media Freaks

EEEEKS

I know Joe Lynch won't be

lusting for my twin peaks

I wanted a date with the varsity coach

but some mayor's daughter was learning to poach

Just Let Me Be Jackie Frozetti OK

For some former mayor I'd

beg steal and borrow

even dress in drag as

William Tauro

I want to be Jackie Frozetti oh yeah!

 

I want to be Jackie Onassis
I want to wear a pair of dark sunglasses
I want to be Jackie Onassis, oh yeah

I want bodyguards all around
I'm anxious to avoid an autograph hound
Just let me be Jackie Onassis, oh yeah

I'm ready for the world to take a good look at me
Photographers can snap my picture, I'll pose for free
Tabloids can make my name a household word
I'll belong to millions but be free as a bird

I want my portrait done by Andy Warhol
I'll let them market a Jackie O doll
Just let me be Jackie Onassis, oh yeah...

First the world will call me Bouvier, hey
Then I'll change to Jackie K
After my date with tragedy
I'll let Aristotle take care of me

I want to be Jackie Onassis, oh yeah
I said, I'd be happy to be Jackie

Oh yeah, oh yeah...
I'd be so happy, then I'd be pleased!
I'd make Aristotle go down on me 

___________

Musty does ruby tuesday

https://youtu.be/Hh7xGBsQxMc

 So Musty and her husband were at the old Buddie's or some homo establishment back in the 1980s and they see me.

They come up to me and say:
"Joe, what are YOU doing here?"

 

JV: I thought this was still The Jazz Workshop and I'm waiting to see Lou Reed and Patti Smith.

 

THEY DIDN'T KNOW I WAS OF THE HOMOSEXUAL PERSUASION...TOO FUNNY