IT WAS MY WISH TO CREATE A DRAG QUEEN CHARACTER WITH THE NAME
get it? Not Symphony Hall but Symphony Hole
BUT, my new drag queen name as the hostess of a house of ill repute .... IS....
M A D A M E KNIGHT!
HOUSE OF THE RISING SUN*
*of course if you put some lipstick on a rookie City Councilor he could fit into the part perfectly...she's younger and prettier than me!
oh back in the 1980s when we used to play Cantones, owned by the grandfather of famous comedian Mario Cantone (his late grandpa had the same name) the band was to gig on a Sunday afternoon around 4 or 5 pm...i forget, it was so long ago...
Well, we were there on a hot Sunday afternoon at 2 PM and the club was not open yet. So, in my boredom it dawned on me (pun intended) to make a spectacle of myself (practice for Medford City Council meetings decades later,) don on my drag queen clothing which was only used for our cover of the Rolling Stones "As Tears Go By" which we dubbed "As Queers Go By," ...but I digress... *( it was a punky sped-up hardcore version which we may have created prior to the band The Dickies making an industry of revving up old tunes and having some fun with them) - and see if we could draw additional audience 3 hours before show time.
WELL well well well wellll......these two ladies on a motorbike drive by laughing and pointing at me. For shame! Discriminating against a homosexual male having some fun in the sun on a hot afternoon.
Now, as y'all know I never drink and drive, and rarely drink. Being a hot day, and since we'd be there for 8 or more hours, I decided to go get a beer at the lesbian establishment called SOMEWHERE ELSE around the corner.
So I'm dressed in my normal guy stuff and walk in and the woman DENIES ME ENTRANCE.
"You can't come in here."
I was stunned. I'd never been in there before and didn't know the Mayor's cousin-by-marriage Attorney David P. Skerry at the time so he couldn't POSSIBLY have told them that I've been bounced out of more public places than he has, (or so he said on TV3)....so I'm incredulous, especially since I've performed at just about every gin joint in the city and on multiple occasions including that lesbian bar which used to be over near the Copley and the Boston Public Library (It's gone now; I really know how to clear a room for good and shut it down...just ask TV 2 1/2 !!! formerly TV3!)
"You can't come in here!" She said in a deep voice and pretty determined.
Then I saw it.
On the cigarette machine was a motorcycle helmet.
"Is that your helmet?" I asked.
"Were you one of the two women laughing at the guy in drag?"
I put in a little suspense by letting her think about where the conversation was going for a few more seconds... and then blurted out:
"That was me!"
She gives me a big wave and says
"COME ON IN!"
They didn't let straights into the "d#k#" bar because some of the girls were, ahem, "Club Half Gay" - if you get my drift - and they didn't want the straight guys competing with/for the bisexual chicks.
This ain't no parody (well, the 1980s story, anyway)...
do stay tuned...
apologies this essay has more use of the word "I" in it than a Marie Osmond autobiography or a Lorna the Lunkhead /Brunhilda the Blockhead blog, but being the fun story that it is, we get a pass this time around.