483,337 @ 12:16 pm
Customer: Hello, I need a babysitter for October 15, are you available?
Babysitter: I'm a 30 year old male, eight years paid experience, and my preferred rate is $13.00-$30.00 an hour.
Customer: That's a big stretch, why $30.00 an hour?
Babysitter: Well, I have experience. As an ex teacher at Mxxxxxx High I provide special services.
Customer: Of that I am sure, however, I'm on a fixed income since I left my $120,00.00 a year job and my husband (whose name I never publish) only gets $40.00 an hour at his job at the rotary near where you live, that's only $80k a year, y'know
Could you send me your photo and resume' via email
(Baby sitter sends link)
Customer: Oh, you're a handsome man! So clean cut.
Babysitter: Thank you, M'aam.
Customer (under her breath) "I know a 61 year old blog editor would just LOVE to baby sit you."
Babysitter: Did you say something, m'aam?
Customer: Oh, no..no...no no no...was just thinking about a tip I would offer you after you provide your services.
Babysitter: Thank you, M'aam, I think...
Why can't your husband baby sit?
Customer: That's rather personal. Are you trying to ascertain how long he will be playing bocci with Bobby over in Malden so that you can see how much time you have with my child?
Babysitter: (ignoring that remark) "and what about your mother? She can't baby sit?"
Customer: Oh, she's too busy arguing with the blog editor's sports host to care about helping me out in my time of need.
What if I offer you $20.00
Baby sitter: You get what you pay for...send an e mail photo of the child over
Customer sends photo
Baby sitter; Didn't I have her in class?
Customer: You know you might have...did you teach 7th grade?
Baby sitter: No, but I think that I had her
Customer: In class?
Baby Sitter: I think that I had her...
Customer: And what time will you be getting off?
Baby Sitter: That's for me to know and for you and your husband to squash ...at the appropriate time, of course...
TO BE CONTINUED
THIS IS A PARODY!
SEND ALL LAWSUITS TO
SCARY, GRANADA AND SCARY LLC
HANDSOME BRIAN SCARY AND I WILL BE VIDEOTAPING A PORN MOVIE ON VISITING DAY... AFTER THE TRIALS WHEN THE BABY SITTER AND DETECTIVE STEPHEN LEBERT ARE BUNKING TOGETHER AT CEDAR JUNCTION
Editor: Now BRIAN SCARY, YOU REMEMBER TO KEEP THE CAMERA LEFT THREE QUARTER PROFILE if the key light is no more than five feet high during the close ..
b.s. YOU ARE PLAGIARIZING GORE VIDAL
EDITOR: I KNOW, LET'S JUST KEEP IT BETWEEN YOU AND ME
BRIAN SCARY: NOW YOU'RE PLAGIARIZING CONNIE CHUNG
EDITOR: AND YOU NOTICED!!!!