Send tips to: InformationCentral2@gmail.com Will John Falco become the new Council President and shine a light on his bald head to keep energy costs down? Will Greenpeace tow Rick Caraviello back out into the water and drop him off somewhere near Cape Town or Antartica? We can always hope. Will George Scarpelli be BANNED PERMANENTLY from janitorial duties as a judge orders Scarpaviello to stay away from broomsticks? All this and much more...
OCTOBER 16! “We are beyond delighted that His Holiness the Dalai Lama will again be
visiting Kurukulla Center and thereby fulfilling one of Geshe Tsulga’s
dying wishes,” says Geshe Tenley, who was recently awarded the Key to
the City by Medford Mayor Michael J. McGlynn. “We believe that this
visit will bring blessings to everyone: neighbors, the people of Boston
and Massachusetts, and all beings.”
Extra-long black car pulls up to Medford Chamber of Commerce. Dalai Lama has thumb out hitch-hiking. _________________________ As the big limousine pulls up a woman sticks her head out of the window and yells:
KB: Are you the Dalai Lama?
KB: Get in.
D.L.: And what do I call you, my lovely?
KB: My name is Kathleen. Dad said to get over here and pick you up before the opposition gets to you first.
D.L.: Kathleen what?
D.L.: Oh, related to the football star
D.L.: Where are we going?
KB: We have to stop off at Aunt Bernadette's house and meet Uncle John Davis at 287 Governors Ave.
D.L.: Is he the Governor?
KB: No. If that were true there would be an apostrophe at the end of Governor's in this parody, you silly Dalai! And certainly not with the MBTA scandal going on.
DL: Hey, I'm His Holiness!
KB: And my daddy is His Magnificence, you two want to get into a spitball contest or something?
DL:You disrespectful ingrate! I might have to call the U.N. on you.
KB: Don't even bother, in my last life I worked there. They hate you. Here we are! Aunty Bernadette, Uncle John, I have the Dalllllii Lami with me.
DL: It's the Dalai Lama!
JD: Hey Mr. Lama, pleased to meet you - would you like a Charlie Card?
KB: We have to descend to the depths of Governors Ave now, Uncle John, next stop is to see cousin David. ___________________________
Bernadette, Jonathan and the Dalai all pile into the limo as they head down the hill to see cousin David.
Limo pulls up to the offices at Zero Governors Ave. A loud voice is yelling out a broken window on High Street: "I'm going to kill you. My three sons are going to strangle you. I'm going to beat the S#)#T out of You! You'd better get a body guard."
KB: Hey, Cousin David, calm down. What is it, people think they can get free time on Project Open Voice or some access platform on Verizon or something?
David Skerry yells down to the street: "Hi Kathleen, Hi Daleei Lama...I'll be right down."
Mr. Skerry jumps into the limousine and it pulls off and heads to the Elks club.
DL: Where are we going now?
Attorney Skerry: Have to pick up my brother-in-law John Granara.
DL: Does he work at the Elks club?
DPS: Of course not. He drinks at the Elks club.
DL: Do I need a lawyer?
DPS: Well you can't hire me. In this town you have to go OUT of town if you want justice. Here's a card...just call Jack McGlynn
McGlynn & McGlynn
116 S. Charles St
Belleville, IL 62220
DL: But why can't I hire you?
DPS: Call Jack McGlynn. No one's allowed to take a client in this city unless Jack gets the offer first.
DL: Strange, I didn't think we were in China anymore.
DPS: You aren't. This is Havana North.
______________________________ Limousine arrives at the Elk's Club.
JG: Anyone in Medford who is anyone is related to someone
Dalai L displays puzzled look on his face.
John Granara: By the way, Dah Lee Lami, are you related to police officer Jim Lee?
Dalai Lama: What is it with you Medford people and your interaction with your relatives. Even in China inbreeding is so passe'. Have you never heard of crop rotation?
David P Skerry: "John"
Both Granara and Davis respond "Yes"
DPS: OK, how about brother-in-law...is that dandruff on your suit?
JG: No, was just shredding a little before you picked me up
Dalai Lama: Shedding?
Davis, Granara, Skerry in unison: SHREDDING
PART II below _________________________________
this is a delusional parody. Don't believe a word of it. To be continued...we have to fill up the limousine with 4 dozen relatives for the Dalai Lama _____________________________________ John Granara leaves Elk's Club (hiccup) and gets into the vehicle JG: Anyone got a beer? Bernadette McGlynn Davis: John, this is His Holiness, the Dalai Lama! JG: You got a beer, Dalai? D.L.: Confucius say "this is what happens when cousins marry." JG: What happens? DL: The City of Medford! JG: Hey Kathleen, Confucius also say "It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop." KMB: Great idea. (Kathleen McGlynn Brady steps on the gas and starts flying through stop signs giving the Dali Lama a ride from hell) Dali Lama: What is she doing? Bernadette: Kathleen is giving you a little joy ride for your smart ass comments about our city! Dalai Lama: Give me that lawyer's number again. I'm going to sue her for the intentional infliction of Emotional Distress David Skerry: I tried that already and just lost under Judge Daniel Wrenn. Better call this number:
McGlynn & McGlynn
McGlynn & McGlynn is a Law Firm in Red Bluff, California
Attorney at Law
McGlynn & McGlynn provides a full service practice, serving Tehama,
Shasta, Glenn and Butte Counties by offering a wide range of legal
Jonathan R. Davis: Yeah, you're going to need a lawyer from out of state to save your sorry Butte County, oh Holy one! Dalai: And will the judge think it's a Medford McGlynn? John G: Boy are you ever out of touch, Dalai! That's where we stash all our illicit cash. We make up lawfirms named McGlynn & McGlynn all over the U.S. of A., much better than Mitt Romney sticking it all in a Swiss Account and having to plead out under the amnesty offer. Why do you think he keeps his tax returns hidden?
Dalai Lama: Medford....Medford...not Tibet...not Montreal...not London...has it really come down to this? I've been marked down. This is like playing the old Jumbo's Lounge in Somerville...the last rung on the rock & roll ladder...I'm in the incestuous City of Medford
_________________________________ Limousine stops at the McGlynn School. JG: Well it just got worse for you, Dalia, if you can't stand McGlynn before you even met him, look at the name on this school. Young woman gets into the vehicle as the Dalai is disgusted. Dalai: And who might you be. JB: Jen Belanger! Dalai: Oh, thank God...like the driver a different last name, two people NOT named McGlynn. Perhaps I'm saved. Hey, who is that fat man upside down on the curb here on Spring Street? He looks like an upside down Buddah! John Granara: Oh, that's State Rep Paul Donato. He just wanted to get your attention. Dalai Lama: But that makes no sense. Granara: Double Dipping Donato makes dollars and cents. And maybe some yen. Dalai Lama: The yen is Japanese Granara: Yen, renminbi, yuan, whatever, it's all the same, isn't it? And since they permanently exported you, be lucky you ARE in Medford or I'll see about shipping you back to the foothills of the Himalayas
Dalai Lama: On March 31, 1959 I escaped to India!
The spiritual leader of Tibet, the Dalai Lama, crosses the border into India after an epic 15-day journey on foot over the Himalayan mountains. http://news.bbc.co.uk/onthisday/hi/dates/stories/march/31/newsid_2788000/2788343.stm John G: So perhaps Confucius say you're ripe and it's time to ship you back! Dalai Lama: For 53 years I've been in exile, and I can tell you from personal experience once the people start reading Medford Information Central it is YOU who will start running for the Himalayan Mountains oh former Special Sheriff Granara: Confucius say Him a bit Testy Jonathan Davis: Him a bit lucky he is in a limo and doesn't have a Charlie Card...let's put him on a bus and let him really mix with the people! Dalai Lama: Confucius, Jon Davis, say "Man who is Chief Financial Officer of MBTA whose brother-in-law lobbyist Jack from Salem was fired from the MBTA by the Governor, just like Uncle Gene McGillicuddy was removed by same Governor from Medford Housing Authority, better shut mouth before we allege connection to Salem/Revere scammers who bilked 4 mill from said MBTA John Granara: He's got you there. I'll drink to that!
SALEM -- A man and woman from Revere allegedly printed and sold more
than 20,000 unauthorized MBTA passes worth more than $4 million, using
Craigslist.org to find customers for their "ghost passes" and depositing
the profits in 45 different bank accounts, a prosecutor said today at
their arraignment. http://www.boston.com/news/local/breaking_news/2011/05/second_person_a.html Part III On to the Cambridge Dept. of Recreation & Conversation! And then...His Holiness meets his magnificence at the Medford Housing Authority with John Lonergan, Bob Covelle and the gang!
Dan Hurley: Your Holiness, Jetsun Jamphel Ngawang Lobsang Yesh Tenzin Gyatso, gee it's so good to see you...
Dalai Lama: My religious name is Tenzin Gyatso, but you can call me Dalai, Dan! Dan Hurley: Dalai Dan, that's funny, my name is Dan too! Are you any relation to the Black Dahlia? We have a Medford Historical Society monument for her on Salem Street http://www.bethshort.com/memorial.htm
Dalai Lama: No relation.
Dan Hurley: Can I offer you a drink?
The Dalai Lama stares down Dan Hurley
Dan Hurley: OK, bad idea.
Dalai Lama: Why are there pair of eyes peering at me from window? Dan Hurley: Wow, you must be psychic. Do you have second sight in the back of your head or something? Dalai Lama: No, I see her peering through glass here at Raso's by looking in yonder mirror. Dan Hurley: Oh, that's Madame X she's busy stalking one of the police officers. She always does that. She's like a decoration here. Dalai Lama: Looks like she's auditioning for the sequel to Fatal Attraction. What does Director Adrian Lyne live in Medford or something? Dan Hurley: We wish. No, she's just your garden variety unhinged psycho witch from hell. Keeps things colorful in the city. Dalai: I bet! Which one of the police officers is she sexually attracted to? Dan Hurley: The politically connected one over there... Dalai Lama: Such low standards for American women! Dan Hurley: Yeah, my boss had the hots for her too, but now he's dating the cop's niece. Dalai Lama: Strange, Double Dipping Donato is dating daughter of cop's brother?
Dan Hurley: Or sister, I dunno, you'll find Medford is very incestuous.
Lucchino defends players who skipped Pesky Memorial
Red Sox [team stats] presidentLarry Lucchino this morning defended his team for the small turnout at Johnny Pesky’s funeral earlier this week, saying it was “unnecessary to focus on that issue.”
“I think the people who knew Johnny best came to it,” Lucchino told WEEI’s Dennis & Callahan
Visual Radio tribute to Johnny Pesky including unreleased footage. We conducted two interviews with Mr. Pesky back in the day and only broadcast one of them. Now, the tribute to Johnny Pesky on Visual Radio ...to be broadcast in Medford on Project Open Voice/Medford and on the Verizon Contiguous Channels. _________________________________ The program is BANNED because of jealousy. Can you believe that? The Red Sox aren't the only ones disrespecting the memory of the late Johnny Pesky. There are individuals who are so jealous of great public access that programs are censored and banned in violation of all that is decent, honorable and right.
It would be one thing if we were promoting Prince Harry in the buff, but because great artists and great local community programming happens on Visual Radio, a tiny faction of jealous people stand in the way of important art. ______________________________________ Guess we can get the A.C.L.U. involved by doing a TV special on a British Hunk
The British press is being unusually skittish with what should be a story from heaven, refusing to print the nude photos of Prince Harry that have lit up the Internet in an episode which some are saying shows a dangerous new climate of fear in the UK medi
Naked prince pics ban reveals chastened British press
Ignoring any concerns about privacy, the Daily
Mirror ran 18 paparazzi long-range photos of the Duchess of York, who
was estranged from but still married to Queen Elizabeth's second son,
and other papers eagerly followed up with similar snaps.
forward to the present day, and pictures of the queen's grandson Prince
Harry cavorting naked with a nude young woman appeared on a U.S. gossip
website and subsequently across the world, with one notable exception -
Reeling from a judge-led
inquiry into press ethics which has publicly revealed the "dark arts" of
once-feared British tabloids, not one newspaper dared risk upsetting
the authorities by printing the "private" photos of Harry.
editors and media commentators said the dissection of newspapers'
unsavory tactics, and evidence from those who said their lives had been
ruined by them to Judge Brian Leveson and his team of lawyers, had
effectively neutered the British press.
Wallis, a former deputy editor of Rupert Murdoch's News of the World
Sunday tabloid, said he would have run the pictures of the third-in-line
to the British throne before the inquiry, but not now.
Prince Harry challenges Team USA’s Ryan Lochte in Las Vegas pool party swim race
By Associated Press,
Published: THURSDAY, AUGUST 23, 10:23 AM ET
Las Vegas Sun columnist Robin Leach reports the prince stripped down
to his jeans and gestured for others to clear the way for the contest at
the XS nightclub pool at the Wynn resort.
Prince Harry won't turn 28 until Sept. 15, but plenty of his fans
are delighted to discover that the royal English lad decided to party
in his birthday suit over the weekend in Las Vegas.
(Was never a big fan of Prince Harry...until these photos hit! Encore! - editor)
• "Harry Potter" author J.K. Rowling will make just one
U.S. appearance to promote her new book, "The Casual Vacancy." She'll
be at New York's Jazz at Lincoln Center on Oct. 16, the Associated Press
reports. Tickets, starting at $37, go on sale Sept. 10.
Maybe we'll go interview her!
• Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise's five-year marriage officially ended Monday when a judge in New York closed their divorce case.
That's what happens when a homosexual marries a heterosexual!
A common parasite that is found in the cat litter box may cause undetected brain changes in women that make them more prone to suicide, a new study has revealed.
The study involving more than 45,000 women in Denmark reported that
women infected with the Toxoplasma gondii (T. gondii) parasite, which is
spread through contact with cat faeces or eating undercooked meat or unwashed vegetables, are at increased risk of attempting suicide.
The crazy cat lady
suicide study comes out of Denmark, and included more than 45,000 women.
Researchers discovered that women who are infected with Toxoplasma
gondii (T. gondii) â€” found not only in cat poop, but undercooked meat
and unwashed vegetables â€” are at a higher risk of suicide. Even more
worryingly, the higher the levels of T. gondii in a participantâ€™s
system, the more risk of suicide by violent means (such as
leaping from a high building, cutting or stabbing oneself with sharp
implements or shooting) increased as well.
Hey ...there's a great place to get rid of litter...it might - actually - help us clean up the city if the litter is dumped in a certain area in Medford and those crazy people name their little hate club Toxoplasma
We've changed our URL Address But our reporting is going to be
Medford residents rely on an important news source not part of McGlynn's Media Blackout MMB
McGlynn Brothers Transportation Agency, the MBTA, is our next big issue
Stay tuned. _______________________________________ READ THIS STORY ON MITT ROMNEY! SOUNDS LIKE A FEW PEOPLE IN MEDFORD, DOES IT NOT?
. Romney, the person says, suggested “falsifying” who they were to get
such information, by pretending to be a graduate student working on a
project at Harvard. (The person, in fact, was a Harvard student, at
Bain for the summer, but not working on any such projects.) “Mitt said
to me something like ‘We won’t ask you to lie. I am not going to tell
you to do this, but [it is] a really good way to get the information.’
Seventeen employees were laid off, according to Phoenix
Media/Communications Group executive editor Peter Kadzis. The station,
which had 21 employees -- 9 full-time and 12 part-time -- now has three
full-timers and one part timer.
WFNX, which was founded in 1983, has been one of the last independent
radio stations in the Boston market, catering to a new music niche. But
Mindich indicated in his memo that the ratings are no longer high
enough to keep the station in business on its own.
Patrick asked Covelle to resign through a letter from Aaron
Gornstein, his housing undersecretary, on Thursday, citing the findings
of the federal audit. Patrick also replaced his appointment to the
authority's commission Eugene McGillicuddy with Sean Caron. McGillicuddy
is related to McGlynn through marriage, he said during a housing
meeting in April after being asked about his relationship to McGlynn by
Medford resident and videographer Joseph Viglione.