1,382,767 @ 11:59 pm
A Medford Information Central Parody
NOT an Allegedly Drunk Husband Production TM
THE MUCCINIAN CANDIDATE
Son #1: Mommy, I want to grow up to be a firefighter some day.
Stephanie Muccinian-Bates: Ryan? Ryan Ezekiel Burke (the sound of his mother's voice puts the robotic son into an even MORE robotic state)...Ryan Ezekiel Burke, You will do as mommy says...Ryan Ezekiel Burke...
Son #1: You aren't going to ask me to carry Mr. Rumley's brief case into court again, are you?
Stephanie as Norma Bates ...as in the film PSYCHO
SM Bates - No, he lost the bill collecting gig the same way your sister's alleged exploits were front page news, on the notorious blog.
Son #1: I can kill the blogger for you!
SM Bates: well, dearie, we don't want our fingerprints on too many of the Medford crimes that we intentionally commit....one of our associates is sharpening grandma's meat cleaver, let's leave it at that...
Son #1: I want to be on the baseball team too!
SM Bates: But I'll have to remove a minority person and though I don't really give a damn about that, the optics won't be so compelling at election time.
Son#1 I WANNA BE AN ALL-STAR, I WANNA BE AN ALL-STAR...I WANNA BE AN ALL-STAR
SM Bates: But failing isn't so bad - it's a good life lesson
Son #1: I WANT TO BE IN THE DAMN ALL-STAR GAME
SM Bates: Neil? Neil Osborne? Hi, it's me, Stephanie, boot the minority kid NOW. The coach just quit over this. Thank you.
Son #1 Thank You Mommy. Can we watch Manchurian Candidate again?
SM Bates: Sure, if you let me pull a Meryl Streep on you and you can be my Liev Schreiber!
Son #1: I'd rather be with the blogger
SM Bates: I know that, you know that, you certainly need a male figure that isn't half in the bag all the time...but in order to shut him up before we whack him with the meat cleaver, he's got a date with the varsity coach...
definitely to be continued...stay tuned for part II
