Thursday, April 6, 2017

REVEALED: How Heidi Riccio became DR RICCIO

Deep in the jungle, the pygmy tribe
was having problems.  They wrote to Roy Yeltsin who replied:

Dear Mr. Pyg:

I am sending the illustrious Heidi Riccio over to your tribe to help you with my magic potion.
If she is successful in curing your infirmities we request that you grant her the title of Dr.


Superintendent of Medford Schools

Accused of hiding Sexual Predators in the lockers

Roy "Boris" Yeltsin 
cc: Paulette Van der Fruit

With hats she mopped from old Hedda Hopper and Tallulah Bankhead films, Heidi took the flight to pygmy land and brought out a big kettle.  She blindfolded each pygmy and talked in pig Latin while throwing rocks and sticks into the heated cauldron.

Then she asked them to remove the blindfolds and hold out their coconut cups.

She reached in to her pocketbook and pulled out a bottle called "Roy's Special Stash."  She poured the liquid into their cups and the Jack Daniels got the natives high as a kite.

When the tribe leader gave her the letter of recommendation making her an official WITCH DOCTOR, Roy Yeltsin, drunk on his own stash, mistakenly removed doctor and kept the document, in Heidi's office, with the words OFFICIAL WITCH

The students were calling her Heidi Witchio, but old Boris, Roy Yeltsin, had the art department restore it to his liking and VOILA, the former Educator of the Year that Wasn't became DOCTOR RICCIO!

Donald Trump texted all that in a variety of tweets.  HE WAS THERE TO WITNESS IT