534,073 @ 3:34 pm
if he can pronounce it...
proc·la·ma·tion
ˌpräkləˈmāSH(ə)n/
noun
noun: proclamation; plural noun: proclamations
a public or official announcement, especially one dealing with a matter of great importance.
Dear Medford Residents,
The people of Local 25 have spoken, even if the people of Medford are offended that imbeciles have overtaken the city council.
As of today, November 17, 2015, granted by the powers vested in me by the unions and other damaging outside interests, I hereby declare that Medford will be safer with these ingenious ideas of mine that are hard for me to articulate.
Heck, the word articulate is hard for me to cough up, but who gives a damn in a dictatorship?
1)Green Energy
In order to keep Alden Chambers warm and to cut down on lighting costs, we shall appropriate $50.00 for a big flashlight. The heavy duty industrial flashlight will shine off of John Falco's head to illuminate Alden Chambers. This is green, saves money that can go into the sleazy pockets of fraud councilors like myself, and will be the transparency Medford is looking for.
To warm Medford, George Scare-pelli will go shirtless and a mirror will reflect the light off of John Falco's bald head onto Scarpelli's belly (the belly of the Scarpelli, a new Dawn Natalia horror flick) to warm the room.
Also guaranteed to keep citizens out...who the hell wants to look at a naked George Scarpelli?
FRED DELLO RUSSO JR: "Point of information; about as attractive as Adam Knight's nicotine stained teeth."
Adam Knight: Point well taken; and wait till you go to Vegas, Freddy, that rent-boy.com that you think you're getting has been changed behind your back to a big old bear that's a big old bottom.
FREDDY: "Do you even know what a bear is?"
Adam: "No, but I'm sure our new DPW commissioner has some on the pay roll"
FREDDY: "Do you even know what a "big old bottom" is?
Adam: "I heard Tom Cruise can tell me."
FREDDY: Don't go there; Cruise has a propensity to sue if you dig into his private life.
Adam: What's a propensity? Stop interrupting and let me continue without censorship
Heck, the word articulate is hard for me to cough up, but who gives a damn in a dictatorship?
1)Green Energy
In order to keep Alden Chambers warm and to cut down on lighting costs, we shall appropriate $50.00 for a big flashlight. The heavy duty industrial flashlight will shine off of John Falco's head to illuminate Alden Chambers. This is green, saves money that can go into the sleazy pockets of fraud councilors like myself, and will be the transparency Medford is looking for.
To warm Medford, George Scare-pelli will go shirtless and a mirror will reflect the light off of John Falco's bald head onto Scarpelli's belly (the belly of the Scarpelli, a new Dawn Natalia horror flick) to warm the room.
Also guaranteed to keep citizens out...who the hell wants to look at a naked George Scarpelli?
FRED DELLO RUSSO JR: "Point of information; about as attractive as Adam Knight's nicotine stained teeth."
Adam Knight: Point well taken; and wait till you go to Vegas, Freddy, that rent-boy.com that you think you're getting has been changed behind your back to a big old bear that's a big old bottom.
FREDDY: "Do you even know what a bear is?"
Adam: "No, but I'm sure our new DPW commissioner has some on the pay roll"
FREDDY: "Do you even know what a "big old bottom" is?
Adam: "I heard Tom Cruise can tell me."
FREDDY: Don't go there; Cruise has a propensity to sue if you dig into his private life.
Adam: What's a propensity? Stop interrupting and let me continue without censorship
2)ELEVATOR SAFETY
Let it be resolved that George Scarpelli, Ed Finn, Rick Caraviello and Paul Camuso be BANNED from using the City Hall elevator at the same time.
a)Not that they could all fit into it
b)or the fact that any two or any one of them could overload the poor, obsolete old people carrier
TO BE CONTINUED
Let it be resolved that George Scarpelli, Ed Finn, Rick Caraviello and Paul Camuso be BANNED from using the City Hall elevator at the same time.
a)Not that they could all fit into it
b)or the fact that any two or any one of them could overload the poor, obsolete old people carrier
TO BE CONTINUED
re·solved
riˈzälvd,-ˈzôlvd/
adjective
adjective: resolved
firmly determined to do something.
