658,659 @ 1:11 am
Boy Relson, Superintendent of Schools, is reading his morning paper and coughs his java up all over his desk:
School puts 'Educator of Year' on paid leave
ANDOVER
— Heidi Witchcio was placed on paid leave from her $106,511-per-year job
at Greater Lawrence Technical School last Wednesday, one day after a
routine press release falsely naming her as the recipient of a national
“Educator of the Year” award was published in The Eagle-Tribune.
Relson storms down the hall pissed that his dirty little secrets keep hitting the local media.
"What is wrong with this broad, how many press releases about herself is she going to send out...especially with that blogger out there lurking and liking what he sees!"
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In Witchio's office, Ringo Starr is blasting loud. She's busy putting up new wallpaper and singing "My mama told me, I was great."
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Relson: Get back to work, Heidi. Just because I picked you up off of the scrap heap doesn't mean you can screw around day after day. What are these things you are pasting on the wall?
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Heidi Witcheo is ignoring Relson, so he starts reading the 8 1/2 x 11's adorning the school office:
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Heidi Witchio: Fiction Writer of the Year
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Heidi Witchio: Cab Driver of the Year
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Heidi Witchio: Waitress of the Year
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Heidi Witchio: Dog Catcher of the Year
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Relson: What is this nonsense?
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Witchio: It's called "self-reinforcement." I post these self-reinforcing delusions on the wall and know that I will be awarded and praised for my hard work and ethical achievement. Just like when I won the teacher of the year award.
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Relson: But you didn't win the teacher of the year award; It was fraud, you made it up, you scammed the Lawrence School system, how do you think I got you at the hometown discount?
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Heidi places a kiss on the old buzzard, Relson's forehead, puts her hand on his back and it starts the descent..."Oh, Boy, Relson, are we in a testy mood today. Just because there's an August trial for Tenna Jarabelsi is no reason for you to get all nervous and fidgety ...
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Meanwhile, over at the DPW, loud snores are coming out of the office of Nike Messtor....ZZZZZZZZZZZZ....snort....zzzzzzzzzz.snort snort.... the butcher boy shows up with his grandma's meat cleaver thinking "damn old broad gave cousin Johnny the house, all I got is this old hatchet.
"Wake up, Nike...damn you...wake up...Stephony is going to be over here."
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Employee #1: "On a Friday night, doesn't she have anything better to do?"
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Butcher Boy: With a drunk husband you'd be running around on a Friday night acting busy too....Nikey...Nikey...WAKE UP, there are streets to plow.....
Nikey....NIKEEEEEEEYYYYYY
