Dyke van Dick, our newest reporter, interviews Allen Eye's Men from WICKEDWITCHCAM.publicaccess
DVD: You know when Melodie walks through Salem they think she's an escapee from the Witch Museum
A E: She is hideous. That's why I'm on the board with her. As ugly as I am, I feel so much more self assured with Melodie as president of the board of directors.
Dyke van Dick: How come you never lose weight at the gym, you just get on the treadmill and nothing happens
A.E. Don't confuse working out with cruising younger men. And I'm pretty mad at you flaunting your new boyfriend at the gym in 2018 when I walked in, the guy at the desk was furious with you.
Dyke: He was! And you're talking about the handsome fellow who gave me the nice Northface jacket? The dude at the desk was just mad for me rubbing my good fortune in your face.
A.E. Yes! The dinners and all the clothing he bought you, and you traded him up for someone else.
Dyke: Well, I was 64, he was 45, much too old for me, but don't worry, he's dead.
A.E. Did you kill him?
Dyke: Let me think about that. He died at Melrose/Wakefield on January 1, 2023 and I was there getting stitches removed a few hours after he died, so I guess Ben Matlock could make a case for it....but I didn't know we were at the same hospital when he died as I got his obituary two weeks later....still, Perry Mason may want to make a case for it...
(P.S. my neighbor the gambler was walking across the street with me and asked me if the Northface jacket I was wearing was from one of my current beaus; I said "No, a previous one." And told him who.... that guy wanted to know EVERYTHING ABOUT MY SOCIAL LIFE, people are so prying when it comes to guys who date guys, aren't they?
He waltzes into my apartment building and thought I would invite him in. I stood at the door and wouldn't ....and he says "Oh, your guy's in there" and he left. I'm not saying if my guy was here or not, how rude, and these are straight guys all wanting to know my business. Please.... he knows enough not to bother me anymore, I don't gamble.
BACK TO THE DEATH OF THE EX:
But the weird thing was, he had already passed away and I had just pulled the jacket out again, it was mid-January, and I didn't get his obit in my text until a few days later..... strange things happen in this world....I know I said I wouldn't talk about him again, odd because once I left he was off of my radar, but dying at 49 is a real mind trip, thus, one ponders what could have been had he behaved and acted in a mature fashion....
The additional odd thing was realizing we were both at the same hospital on January 1, 2023, him dying while I was getting the stitches removed on doctor's orders. Guess he stalked me right up until the end. He couldn't believe that I dropped him but I did. Whatever works for you, no matter how cute they are and no matter how much money they have, you gotta be you! and that is just good, solid advice and not part of the parody.
As much fun as we had, and we did have fun, he became tiresome real fast and it was "adios amigo" from me and his jaw dropping to the floor when I left. After I left he ran himself into the ground, quite literally, went out of the country on vacation by himself, and when he landed in Cancun or Aruba or wherever the hell he went he needed a wheelchair getting off of the plane. He went downhill from there, but the death shocked all of us.
I'm not expecting an invite to his "life celebration" which may have already happened, but let me tell you ....except for his kids they all hated him at the end, and me bailing was just one example of many if you get my drift....
to be continued
Parody
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