Dormitory Slut: The Judge John Byers Show, Episode IX

691,609 @ 11:55 am
691,595 @ 11:27 am May 1
30,139 past 30 days @ 11:27 am

THE JUDGE JOHN BYERS SHOW
THE TRIAL OF TENNA JARABLAUSER 

FATHERLY ADVICE ”Oh, Vallie, this is such a shock,”

Albert says upon learning of Val’s engagement. 

”I’m not saying anything, I promised your father… But you’re only 20, 

and if you throw yourself away on some dormitory slut you’ll be sorry for the rest of your life. There, enough said, no more, subject closed.”
http://www.ew.com/article/2005/06/18/funny-film-dads-robin-williams-and-nathan-lane-birdcage

iT IS AUGUST IN SUPERIOR COURT IN WOBURN...AND THE TRIAL OF THE FLOOZY TEACHER ACCUSED OF STATUTORY RAPE IS ON THE DOCKET!

______________________________________________

ALL RISE

THE HONORABLE JUDGE JOHN BYERS PRESIDING

COURT IS NOW IN SESSION.


PROSECUTOR VIVIAN VANCE:  Your Honor, this is a case of broken trust, lewd behavior, fornication and abuse of authority.

JUDGE BYERS:   Prosecutor, I thought we were hearing the Jenna Tarafloozy case, your description sounds like the well-deserved trial of a former mayor of 28 years.

PROSECUTOR VIVIAN VANCE: The city of Medfraud is so incestuous that the lines blur from case to case.

JUDGE BYERS: Don't I know it.  I ran for mayor on multiple occasions, I hear it is better for hook-ups than Match dot com but, alas, I didn't get enough votes so I don't know first hand...

PROSECUTOR VIVIAN VANCE: A fifteen year old boy has picture's of that 23 year old cow's dress.

JUDGE BYERS:  Mooooo.  Stop with the mis -characterizations  madame prosecutor and proceed.

PROSECUTOR VIVIAN VANCE:  It is as vile and disgusting as any production of the former cable access station in Medfraud when the naked hooker was on the Friday night filth fest

JUDGE BYERS: I said to move it along- now you're putting TV3 on trial.  Next thing you'll be asking for the bankruptcy files of Harvey and Doria

PROSECUTOR VIVIAN VANCE: That would be a good start.  In fact, for my first witness I call Dina McLewd of the Inhuman Rights Commission

JUDGE BYERS: Oh don't bore us. For your first witness you are calling the superintendent of schools who knew of "rumors" of Ms. Tarrafloozy but hired her any way.

PROSECUTOR VIVIAN VANCE:  That is highly irregular your honor, I'm the prosecutor...I get to call whomever I want. This is outrageous.

JUDGE BYERS: WHAT IS OUTRAGEOUS YOUNG LADY, HMMM...I TAKE THAT BACK, WHAT IS OUTRAGEOUS YOU OLD WINDBAG IS YOUR ABUSE OF A CREDIT CARD AT ANOTHER GOVERNMENT AGENCY. NOW ARE YOU CALLING THE SCHOOL SUPERINTENDENT OR DO I HAVE TO PUT YOU ON TRIAL?

Prosecutor Vivian Vance: Well, since you put it that way

JUDGE BYERS: Plus, forget the boring mumbo jumbo, expert witnesses and all that. I want to be entertained.  Don't you want to see the school superintendent squirming on the witness stand along with a charlatan mayor or two?

PROSECUTOR: Well, since YOU put it THAT way, to quote Al Pacino in the Godfather "who can resist Don Altabello?"

One question, your Honor,  is this trial being broadcast on access TV?

JUDGE BYERS; I SURE HOPE SO. IN FACT, I DEMAND IT.


absolutely to be continued

witness list

Kathleen McGoon-Shady (not that she knows anything; it just pisses off State Rep Don Paulato to see his friend's daughter named on a witness list like the John Edwards witness list!)

Stephony Buccini-Clerk

Brian S. Clerk, drunk husband

The Babysitter - start witness for the Commonwealth

Nella Escobarra-Jokely - Editor of weekly sleaze propaganda sheet for city hall a.k.a. "The Cover-up Queen."

Chief Leo A. Lowell, Jr.

Ken Medford - who will be asked why he isn't Ken Cleveland or Ken Ohio and why he is perpetrating the fraud on the city of Medfraud*

*Not that he knows anything about the case either, it's just time to take some air out of that stuffed shirt.