My Friend Johnny Worries More About the Ex Wife than Ex Chief Sacco

1,313,489 @ 9:05 pm
 
Friend Johnny (not Byers) is WORRIED!

Years ago, before Johnny and his wife were divorced, they tried to get me to propose to one of my girlfriends.

OK, since y'all love stories about my personal life here goes.

On the first date I told her that I am of the homosexual persuasion.  We are talking 1975!

I finally stopped speaking to her in 2018.

So the wife and my ex (as in girlfriend) conspired to have a dinner where I was supposed to propose marriage.

Now get the honesty on the table first:

1)She says "Your friends say you take girls for long walks along the beach to tell them you are gay to get rid of them."

WELL, it was only ONE woman I did take for a long walk along Revere Beach to tell her it's hopeless.

That woman who got the walk along the beach later sent me a wedding announcement when she got married.   ?????

I'm a homosexual!  Do you really think a wedding announcement would elicit anything from me except "Good for you, get a clue, you made a much better choice than eternal frustration."

2)Girl in question who wouldn't let my break up with her said "I'm not buying it" (that I'm of the homo persuasion.)

Well let's do some simple math:

If a straight dude is taking a chick for a long walk along the beach to say he's a homo, he may have inspired Mel Gibson in What Women Want to let her down easy.

I was just trying to let her down easy...


BUT

a)if he's straight and faking that he's gay, HE'S NOT INTO YOU

b)If he truly is a homo, which is the case here,
HE'S NOT INTO YOU!

SHEESH 

either way, get a grip, and get the hell out of Dodge for you will both be miserable, which we were!

So now it's like late 1976 and after a year and a half of:

a)me telling her I like guys
b)me breaking up with her
c)she demanding we be "just friends"
(resulting in her stomping her foot when my cute blonde guy was around...oh please...)

Even when I loved a woman I would have married it got difficult because if I was alone with a guy she would insist on threesomes OR taking my gay or bi friend off on her own!

Anyone who knows me well knows that - yes - all this is 1,000 percent true.

Dear Donald,
too bad you have passed on.   One afternoon while his husband was at work we were going to have the best time EVER!   You could feel the chemistry in the air. We hadn't slept together since the husband moved here from New york circa 1986 so this is around 1994, we are talking eight years, and my girlfriend went back up to her apartment (i had my ex and his husband conveniently stashed on the bottom floor of her 3 story building) ...so he locks the door and it was like, OK, we didn't have to say a word, suddenly it was 1986 again...and suddenly the girlfriend senses something and starts banging on the door...we ignore her...then she goes upstairs at the front door, gets a key, comes down the back stairs and lets herself in and says "hello, boys!"

Well, I said "Good seeing you, Don" and just went home.

Like, you KNEW it was going to be the best time ever because it had been so long and we were both older and wiser, so having a girlfriend - even if they are bi or a swinger - is not an asset when you are a homosexual.
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Fast backwards to 1976 or so...

BACK TO THE PARTY WHERE I AM SUPPOSED TO PROPOSE MARRIAGE TO A CHICK BUT NO ONE TOLD ME THIS WHEN I WAS INVITED TO:
GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER: 2

The ex wife takes my hand and says "Now I love my husband even though he beats me" to which I reply "You're sick."  And she's still holding my hand and says "And you love xxxx and you are going to ask her to marry you."

I look at his now ex wife and say "I like XXXX but I do not love her."

To which she - Ms. XXXX -  goes out of the room crying.  Ruining the night, and like this is supposed to be a dinner between friends?

You can't make this stuff up.
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So a few months back Johnny (not Byers) writes me and says:

It's one thing to take on Chief Sacco, which I'm watching online, but at the end of the day Sacco will take his pension over going after you.
"But the EX WIFE in the midst of a fresh divorce is the most dangerous thing you can face."

Well, that's one opinion.

I think he and the ex are so intent on destroying each other that I'm not getting the attention, from him, that I deserve.

So I get attention from others and - you know what - I am as happy now as when we got the cards on the table that I was not going to marry that particular woman, WHO IS A REPUBLICAN, HARD CORE.

So forget the fact that I'm not attracted to her, were I a heterosexual it was NOT going to work either, and we know that with over 40 years of water under the bridge...

She's run off with a Republican friend of mine, thank God, and we wish them both well.

Older Johnny (not Byers) and I compare notes and they are not having sex and it is like PLEASE, PLEASE, HAVE SEX, GET MARRIED, be on your merry happy way.

But their relationship is like a married couple of 40 years (yes, he introduced us way back when in 1975 so...and he says "I feel strange being with her because she was your girlfriend and..." and I'm like "NEWSFLASH, I'm a homosexual, lived with a man for 18 years and still love him after his passing...still love the guy every single day...trust me, you can have my ex girlfriend that you introduced me to..."

Sheesh.

OK, this whole story was about Johnny being concerned that the current ex wife is more dangerous than Chief Sacco in regards to me and this blog and truth, justice and the American way.

Boy have I had some bizarre dating experiences.

Won't tell you...ok ok...guess I will tell you... about my ex boyfriend John (another one, not the straight Republican Johnny mentioned in the previous story) and his two girlfriends 

He had his longtime girlfriend from Winchester in bed - fully clothed - with me, fully clothed, in Woburn, and him - fully clothed... and the girlfriend said "Why are we in bed with Joe?" and the answer I couldn't tell her was "He's playing us."

Well, all I did was connect relationship #3 with relationship #1 and me, relationship #2, gets a phone call from the then current boyfriend who wanted me  in a relationship with allegedly bi-John (because they were boyfriends too...I know I know, it gets very convoluted, but my boyfriend loved me and wanted me to fall for John- and I was falling for him; John who was in love with him so that we could both keep an eye on each other for him (my bf) ...does that make sense?  He was more of a genius than I even realized at the time!  Have you cake AND eat it too.
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Boyfriend (not Prankie, but similar first name) calls me "You are brilliant."

Me: What the heck are you talking about??

Boyfriend Not Prankie: When you told John's girlfriend #3 to call girlfriend #1 they set up a "date" at Kelley's Roast Beef on Revere Beach and when he got there the other girlfriend was waiting and the two girls smashed his new car (which he bought off my business partner at the time) to pieces calling him all sorts of vulgar names and he stood there and said two words:

"Jxx Vxx" (the editor of this blog!)

To boyfriend: My hands are nice and clean.

Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman Scorned except for TWO Women Scorned and a Genius P.O.F.
Pissed Off Fag

I didn't give a damn that he had two girlfriends.  He left my bed on a Saturday morning when we were supposed to go to Maine and spent the day with Girlfriend #1.  NO ONE upsets my vacation, so a little discussion with Girlfriend #3 and connecting her to Girlfriend #1 and --- no muss, no fuss...I didn't tell them to do ANYTHING, they concocted the scheme on their own...I was just...just ...a dating service introducing them!  :) (smile)



Girlfriend #3 phoned me back after she talked to #1 and so I said to her: 

"By the way, you aren't the only two he is seeing."  She replied "I'm beginning to get the picture."


DUH!

well...it took you long enough!

Years later I walk into Sporters, a gay bar, and he's there with a heavy set woman and a very good looking dude. Still down to his old tricks.
I believe he married that chick (interesting, she's in a gay bar with him and marries him!)
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So he calls me up a few years ago looking for Name not Prankie's # (who now has second wife and 4 kids...go figure...and says he will "kill" me if I talk about the good old days to his wife...ha ha ha...never met her, don't intend to!!!!...he said it with a smile!) 


OK, I got way off the track.

Straight Johnny says needling ex Chief Sacco is less dangerous than dating someone with a hostile ex wife.

1)The further Sacco gets away from me, the further the ex chief likes it.

2)The hostile ex wife is too busy fighting with her ex husband (who purchased dinners and wonderful things for me) to really worry about me. Trust me on that, they hate each other!!!!


Your fun Sunday night reading.