Saturday, January 23, 2016

Part 2 WIRETAPPING THE POLICE STATION




a delusional parody from Medford Information Central

At  Kelly's Roast Beef to work a detail, CAD, Captain After Death, is having a siesta when an employee taps him on the shoulder...

C.A.D.:  "Assault, Assault...it's like Bob Fitzpatrick putting his hand on Dr. Wood's shoulder in a friendly gesture. Assault...assault..."

Kelly's employee: "Calm down, Alan, (takes Lord's name in vain) CXXXX, you'd think I was blowing up the Depositor's Trust like Uncle Tommy.


C.A.D.: Uncle Dickie, Uncle Tommy, Uncle Bob, what's the difference?

Kelly's employee: The difference is that you are taking a siesta while a former Medford resident is posting a youtube video of the Medford Dental being exploded and falling into the phony new Cradock Bridge.

C.A.D.: It's nothing that three 16 year olds in P-Town can't cure with 9 beers...I gotta get some rest.  Give me my Barbie doll.

Kelly's employee: Jimmy Lee took the Barbie Doll to smack it in the mouth. I've got the Ken doll.

C.A.D.: Chief Sasso put super glue on the Ken doll's mouth because he didn't like the micro-chip sound that I added to it, in clever fashion I might add.  Gimme the Ken doll.

The employee gives Captain After Death the Ken doll. The captain, sleepy-eyed, folds in half and bends the little doll over ...out of its backside comes the voice of Stephen LeBert:

"I'll put a hole right through your f*cking head. 

". I'm gonna seize that camera when you almost hit that car head-on when you went through the

C.A.D.: I love technology.

Kelly's employee: "What a cute little derriere on the Ken doll. If some reprobate pours 3 beers into it, what will happen?"

C.A.D.: I think the 9 volt battery will be problematic, but to be sure you'll have to ask City Councilor George Scarpelli that one, and only during the next soccer trip to Western Mass.

ABSOLUTELY TO BE CONTINUED

We'RE JUST WARMING UP!!!