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Everybody in Medford and on Beacon Hill reads Medford Info Central! Right, Vivian?
Vivian Vance: Egads...reading this stuff I'm sure glad that I'm not the subject matter today!...errr...Happy Wedding...have a nice flight!
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Somewhere in America a plane takes off with the lovely couple acting like teenagers... think Glenn Close as Alex Forrest swapping spit with Roger Ailes...
Groom: Where is my cellphone.
Bride: Here, it's in my purse.
Groom: What is MY phone doing in YOUR purse.
Bride: We're married now, I'm just checking up on your personal texts, e mail and voicemails to make sure that copsucking witch isn't contacting you.
Groom: You just can't take my phone ...invade my private space
Bride: I'm your wife. I can do whatever the hell I please...
CAPTAIN COMES ON SPEAKER: "Dear passengers, there is turbulence shaking the plane, and it is not detected in the atmosphere...please fasten your safety belts."
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Groom: You cannot go lifting people's cellphone and reading their texts
Bride (holding the phone away with a very mean look on her face): Let's see...your daughter-in-law is arguing with her husband again
Groom: GIVE ME THAT PHONE...whenever they argue he tends to drink. Have to tell her to get the car keys away from him...
Bride starts texting: "Give him the keys.... (Bride holds phone away and starts walking away from her seat reading incoming text"
Daughter-in-law text: "I already did, Pops...and a bottle of vodka. Have a nice flight."
Bride reads that the daughter-in-law is enabling alcoholic son ...Groom chases new wife down airplane aisle screaming...NSA and homeland security clear the plane, stuff everyone into the cockpit and the rest rooms...plane is empty except for philandering groom and stalker bride...
TO BE CONTINUED
9:01 am
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