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MUCCINI-BURKE WAS SO DISLIKED BY PURCHASERS ON THE DARK WEB THAT THE KIDNAPPER HAD TO OFFER A REBATE!
Fair use mug shot photo of psycho Polish kidnapper
http://www.thedailybeast.com/20-year-old-kidnapped-british-model-rescued-from-deep-web-auction
Her husband found an ad on Craig's List when he was supposed to be working up at Middlesex Superior Court. Since Michael Sullivan keeps him as a quasi pet poodle (you want Brian Burke handling YOUR case??? Really???) he had nothing better to do than surf the internet. He found a way to unload his wife answering an ad for a stunning model.
But when the Stephanie got to Milan, there were no cameras. There was only a man, said to be of Polish origin, with a syringe full of Ketalar, a common anesthetic drug often used to sedate horses. Police say he jabbed her in the arm and put a pillowcase over her head before stuffing her in a large suitcase. Something that Mike Nestor at the DPW could only dream of doing.
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The Polish psycho then drove her, still inside the suitcase, in the trunk of his car to a southern Milan suburb where he kept Mrs. Burke in a room at an events hall where Anne Marie Cugno was attempting to become a city councilor in Italy, after losing in spectacular fashion to write-in candidate Johnny Byers in Medford. The psycho Polish guy had rented the hall with false documents that Rick Caraviello provided in a secret meeting at Demet's Donuts, according to Italian media, and listed her on a dark web auction site for a starting price of €300,000 ($353,000) in Bitcoin. The auction was such a disaster that Phyllis Diller's voice could be heard from beyond the grave cackling with laughter ...
The Polish Psycho, looking like a more rugged version of the varsity coach not-wanted for questioning, was hoping that the auction to go on Medford Public Access TV but since his victim had already hijacked the TV station as he had hijacked her, he flew into a rage and started taking nude photographs of the Medford Mayor in hopes of starting a new horror film studio.
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Police examining his phone and computer found vulgar, nude photos of Muccini-Burke taken while she was drugged in various positions in the basement of Medford City Hall..
Some of those pictures also appeared on the darknet auction site.
BUT, just like the teacher / varsity coach in Medford walking away free without a care and no justice for the 17 year old lacrosse player he allegedly had his way with, the psycho Polish guy is also not being charged for sex crimes, courtesy of Leo A. Sacco, Jr., (*probably because Leo was the alleged accomplice in trying to dump the old broad) only kidnapping and illegally holding a person captive.
Irony being what it is, all 60,000 people in Medford feel like they've been held captive - by Stephanie!
Karma is a bitch, and for the polish guy, he found out what a bitch it was trying to sell a naked Stephanie Muccini Burke on eBay.
The court, after many deliberations by Teddy Ballgame over in Somerville District, has ordered the psycho to offer a rebate to anyone crazy enough to send bitcoins his way for the white-haired version of Mike McGlynn in drag.
File under, Stephanie's Been MARKED DOWN (to quote or paraphrase Bette Midler in Ruthless People.)
Post script: the drug Ketalar was provided by an unknown dealer who was seen jaywalking on May 19, 2017 on Route 60.
In a partial settlement offer from the city to a victim of the alleged drug dealer in the seen photo above, Mark Rumley has offered the psycho Polish guy, the Varsity coach, a dream date with Nick Iovino (ex of the Medford Transcript) and free limo delivery of those two men to the editor who can perform all sorts of photographic experiments on them for his new access TV show, as a sign of good faith.
The offer is being considered.
PARODY
NOT a Vivian Vance production
